Madeline Journal Entry Uno

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Mom said we're going to Japan. We'll get to visit a 'friend' of mama's. Can't wait to make a friend at least I hope I can make one. Mom doesn't let me go outside to play with the other kids. She says it's not safe for me. She says that a lot

-I hope mom will let me make a friend

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A man started living with us today. Mom says he's my new dad .... But he scares me and mama a lot. He gets angry easily, but mom says he's just sick and having a bad day .... He has a lot of bad sick days

-hope he gets better soon

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The man drinks ..... a lot. Sometimes he hurts me and when mommy's around she hides me in a small dark room with music. He hits her. I can tell, but mama tries to hide it. I don't like this bad man. He hurts mommy a lot

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Mommy won't let the bad man leave so it's up to me to get rid of him. Mom cries herself to sleep and hits me like the man does to me. It's his fault mommy does this so she needs to be protected. I will protect her from the bad man

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Mommy got hurt again so I called the police on the bad man, but they did nothing. Mommy had bruises on her, but she hid them with a sweater and long skirt. She covers her face with something called make up. She never had to buy that before until the bad man came. The police officer saw me and gave me a sad smile.

Kind eyes like grandpa. He gave me his card and said if I needed help that to call him. I told him I would but when they were gone mommy threw me to the ground and tore the card in my face with the bad man laughing.

-I hate him

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Mommy said she didn't want me anymore and kicked me down the stairs. I thought I was going to sleep forever like papa from the blood, but stayed awake. I remember my head hurting but then the gash on my head healed. What am I? Mommy won't talk to me anymore. She calls me a monster and lets the bad man hurt us.

-I hate myself for scaring mommy

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Mommy told me dad was a ghoul she had met when she was an investigator in America. Mom said she killed dad. I'm not mad. I'm just sad she doesn't like me. That bad man wants to get rid of me, but mom won't let him.
Mom gets sad when I ask about dad

-P.S. she says I look like dad

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A week has gone since I made the bad man disappear. Mommy's happier and doesn't care about why the bad man left. She doesn't cry as much. No one hurts us, but she goes to the hospital a lot. Mom says an important friend will visit us soon.

Should it matter?

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A man came today with a boy. He has blonde hair and cool eyes. Mom said I could play with the boy while she talked to the man. The boy draws really good! One day I'll be able to draw like him

-P.S. His name is Uta

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Mom said I had to help her work today, but then a man she knew took me away. The man won't wake up now. Another person came in and saw me. She called herself Big Madame. I saw a boy there dressed in girly robes.
She said his name is Rei and when the lady left Rei and I were quiet. Big Madame said he'd hurt my mommy and Rei if I didn't behave

-I promise to protect them both

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Rei's my first real friend and today Big Madame says I could play with him. She barely feeds us. She says that I'm not just a human. That I'm her favorite daughter, but then again she's not my mommy. The lady doesn't like it when I hurt the other people who try to touch me, but I don't care.

Mom says never let someone touch me especially if they're strangers. Big Madame likes giving me good girl points, but I don't like them

-Mommy where are you?

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Rei and I got separated. I don't know where he is. The boy with blonde hair took me away from the place. He says that I can live with him now and that mommy isn't coming back. He doesn't know it but I've heard mommy say something like that before.
It means mommy is with the angels like grandpa

-I miss you mommy. I miss you Rei

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Uta lets me go to school and I have friends now! Rei's always on my mind. I should find out where he is. I miss him

-Please be safe Rei

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I found him! I found Rei! He goes by Juuzou Suzuya. He doesn't wear a dress anymore. In fact Big Madame doesn't have him in his clutches anymore. People talk bad about him but I hurt them when they do. Just not around him. I don't want to scare him. I don't wanna ruin his human life

-I love him

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Failed to deliver it in person but he did open the present I left on his doorsteps. I gave him hair clips and a sketchbook with crayons for his birthday. I was to overwhelmed by the idea of meeting him that escape was the only thing on my mind

-P.S. Feel like a failure

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He kept the hairclips! Can you believe that he wears them now?!?! He's so cute with them in his hair. He colors in the sketchbook too!

-Proud he kept my gift

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I wonder if he cares about how reckless he is being? Poor sweet human of mine. We'll be together again I promise. Until then I'll lay out a trail for you to follow

❤ you Juuzou

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