A Spam Book

Daybreak's Crest Incorrect Quotes 3

Author's Note: Should I reorganise the order of these chapters at some point so I have all of the similar sort of stuff together? Or will it mess up stuff for the readers? Anyway, have more of these! Since Leo's finally out I get to sort-of write more stuff for him. He hasn't actually done anything yet, I can't do anything much, though... but I do have his chapters planned!

-x-x-x-

Leo: So I was thinking about travelling with you a bit. I'll be in the general area, so if you need anything, you can call me.
Aries: That's not acceptable.
Leo: Don't be so inflexible. It's not like I'm joining your merry band or anything. This is strictly business.
Aries: And yet you –
Scorpio: I think this will be a good opportunity. We will certainly have need of this man's talents.
Scorpio: He's a dubious character at best, but at least we know his motives. Everything begins and ends with gold.
Scorpio: He'll be easy to control.
Taurus: Scorpio, he's standing right there.
Scorpio: I don't think he minds.

(This is actually not very accurate to the story, but it was a fun quote, and it's from Fire Emblem!)

Aries: Can I ask a dumb question?
Scorpio: Better than anyone I know.

Sagittarius: I'd die for you, Cancer.
Cancer: I'd kill for you, Sagittarius.
Gemini: Both of you need to calm the heck down.

(Swear words? Swear words.)

Someone: *knocks on Pisces' door at 3 A.M.*
Pisces: I can't believe this. 3 A.M.? What a jerk...
Pisces: *puts down her violin* I'll go see what they want then.

(For clarification, Pisces is not intentionally being mean or anything, but she doesn't have a very good perception on when is a good time to practice, having lived her entire life wandering about inns and playing music until daybreak for drunk people in the pubs.)

Gemini, being kidnapped: Will I need my toothbrush?
Some Kidnapper: Shut up.
Gemini: I'm assuming that means you're providing the toothbrush.

Sagittarius, holding a box: What would you say if I came back to our camp one day with six kittens?
Scorpio: What's in the box?
Sagittarius: ...
Scorpio: Sagittarius, what's in the box?
Sagittarius: I think you know.

Gemini: If you're not sure about your sexuality, let's try this:
Gemini: What's the first thing you notice when a woman approaches you?
Cancer: The audacity.

Capricorn: Tell me, how did you take down my uncle?
Eirean Church dude: I shot him in the legs, because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot.

*in front of a broken coffee machine*
Taurus: Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
Virgo: I did. I broke it –
Taurus: No, no, you didn't. Gemini?
Gemini: Don't look at me. Look at Capricorn!
Capricorn: What? I didn't break it.
Gemini: Huh, that's weird. How did you even know it was broken?
Capricorn: Because it's sitting right in front of us, and it's broken.
Gemini: Suspicious.
Capricorn: No, it's not.
Aquarius: If it matters – probably not – but Leo was the last one to use it.
Leo: Liar, I don't even drink that crap!
Aquarius: Oh, really? So what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Leo: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Aquarius!
Virgo: Okay, okay, let's not fight. I broke it, let me pay for it, Taurus.
Taurus: No! Who broke it?
Capricorn: Taurus... Pisces has been awfully quiet.
Pisces: Really?!
*cut to everyone arguing, and Libra attempting to calm everyone down*
Taurus: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict that in ten minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Taurus: Good. It was getting a little chummy in here.