A Spam Book

Caffè Nero

Based off that one picture (actually it's been like ten now aha) and message Lucid_fantasies_ sent me! While I've never actually been to this place before... well, it's an excuse for a coffee shop AU and shenanigans with Nero (who happens to be my brother's character)! Also, Caffè Nero inside jokes...!

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"...where's...café..."

...this again. The dark haired boy sighed and ran a hand through his messy hair, further tousling the already tangled locks. He gave the area a quick glance; everything was on fire or crumbled into pieces of debris upon the floor, Phoenix was halfway across the corridor screaming in fury and trying to swat at something, and nearby a terrified looking scientist cowered behind a pillar that was miraculously standing.

Yeah, this place doesn't need me for now. Time to break the fourth wall and switch universes. Nero flickered out of sight, relying on his invisibility to render him completely non-existent to anyone who wasn't looking for him.

With three very precise steps, the battlefield around Nero seemed to glitch out and fade into a very familiar café. Surely enough, as his mind reading (which worked over different universes, apparently) had revealed, the café was much busier than usual (and usually it was rarely busy enough to warrant for Nero to return to continue working his alter-universe part time job...).

Nero's expression – while usually set in a deadpan tight lipped stare – deepened into a frown as he noticed the café's latest (well, only) customers.

...why are they here?!

Nero yanked his uniform-shirt thing over his breastplate and headed to where the start of the queue. Much to his annoyance, what he had seen earlier was most definitely real: twenty-something (twenty three, he believed) people all gathered up by the cash register, apparently bickering over... something that sounded fairly trivial.

Nero put on his best 'pleasant worker' facade (which consisted of a tight-lipped 'smile' and a twitching eye) and took his place behind the cash register. "...What do you want?"

"You get that every single time. Caffeine is bad for you – what is this, your fourth cup...?!"

"I'm an adult! I do what I want now!"

"Teenager. You are still a teenager."

"Stop pushing me!"

"You're pushing me!"

The group paid absolutely no attention to Nero and continued to bicker as if he hadn't spoken at all. Nero sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb.

...how did the Zodiacs get here anyway? And why are they arguing like a bunch of children when they're supposed to be the king's executioners or something?

"Er, hello..." A soft voice spoke up. An orange-haired boy in a hoodie with striped sleeves that looked way too big for him gazed up at Nero with wide eyes. Nero would've thought he were a fourteen year old boy if not for his knowledge of the Zodiacs in the 'original' dimension.

"Cancer." Nero deadpanned.

"Y-you know my name?!" Cancer's eyes widened and he shrank back. "H-how, er, I've never been..."

"...just a hunch." Nero covered up his mistake with the most bored looking scowl he could muster in hopes of keeping him from asking any more questions. "Just order quickly. I have places to be, you know."

Like a battle for our lives involving all of you...

"I'm Aries!" Suddenly the white-haired girl that had been bickering with a very annoyed looking brunette suddenly slammed her hands on Nero's desk. Nero did not even bat an eyelid at this – after all, he had been exposed to about one day or less of the Zodiacs' (the... 'amnesiac' versions of them, apparently) chaos and nothing really fazed him anymore (except for Phoenix's insane rampage but that was besides the point).