Cloudy Days and Stormy Thoughts

11.

I've been in this place before. déjà vu hits in waves. the weight in my chest, the stress in my head. It's all too real. I've been in this place before. I have a real bad habit of over emphasizing my place in other people's lives. If you're wondering whether they like you or not, they probably don't. I've been in this place before. Sad love songs play as I wrap my arms around my torso and ask myself, why am I not good enough? I've been in this place before. Wondering what I am to him. Overthinking the smallest things, hoping they'll add up and somehow turn into something majorly important and beautiful. Like a puzzle piece. I've been in this place before. My brain is going haywire, he's all that I can think about to the point where I forget about myself. I've been in this place before. I'm at his beck and call and he knows it. I stay waiting for his texts to fill up my phone screen or an invite to come "hang". I've been in this place before. I'm growing impatient and tired of the vagueness that consumes him. I've been in this place before. Wanting to spill my feelings but holding back due to fear of losing him. I've been in this place before but this time I shouldn't be scared of losing him, he should be scared of losing me. -N.L