Don't ; Lashton

Chapter Thirteen // Distance

Ten years Ago

"I'll be back Luke, don't worry. Take care of this place for me while I'm gone, yeah?"

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Present Day

"You have a boyfriend?!"

Luke stepped away from Michael and turned to see Calum with his arms crossed.

"I can't believe you! I actually thought you changed a bit but you're still the same way. You still don't care who you knock down in your path of destruction. Remember when you were nice? Remember when you gave a fuck about people! And it's all thanks to that dick in front-"

Calum stopped himself seeing Michael. Seeing the Michael Clifford.

"I thought you were dead, dickhead. I thought you left, disappeared, vanished."

"Who are you?"

"Wh-Who am I?! Oh he doesn't know who I am oh that's rich. He doesn't remember me."

Calum was in hysterics. He was so frustrated and angry and distressed. All he wanted was to protect Ashton and make sure he was alright.

But he couldn't be there all the time.

"I'm Calum, Michael. I was Luke's best friend. I was his shoulder to lean on when you treated him like shit. I was the person to sober him up after you'd take him to do whatever the hell you guys did. I know who you are. The supposedly dead boyfriend. You're Michael. You're the person who taught Luke how to make cocaine. You're the one who took Luke's virginity. You're the one who made Luke hate himself. You're the one who made Luke the way he is today."

Michael just smirked.

"Oh now I remember you."

Calum was done. He was so completely done trying to deal with trying to be brave and fight back.

Luke just stood between the two other boys not knowing what to say.

"I don't have a boyfriend. I-I like Ashton. I actually feel something for him I promise not to hurt him Cal, just let me-" 

"No. You had your chance. You're obviously back with Michael. I guess since your dad left you, you leave everyone who actually gives a shit about you."

Luke grew rigid. He could feel anger bubbling in his core and his mind was going into a fury. He couldn't hurt Calum though.

"Leave Calum. You're right, I'm happier with Michael. He's way better than Ashton. Ashton is pathetic, he's stupid and too young. He's oblivious. I don't care anymore. Do whatever the fuck you want with him. You were right, a different night a different fuck"

"I'm sorry I am so pathetic, I hope you and 'Michael' are very happy together. Let's go Calum, my Father will be upset with me if I am not back before he wakes up."

And Luke regretted even opening his mouth. But he doesn't care right? Maybe he never reaally did start falling for Ashton. But even if he did, he's lost Ashton now.

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The car was quiet. Ashton's eyes were dull, it looked as if the life was sucked out of them.

But in a way, it was.

He truly cared about Luke but he now knew they weren't mutual feelings. 

Ashton didn't know how exactly to handle it, so he shut off. He could hear Calum trying to talk to him and the soft music playing from the radio and cars passing by. But he didn't feel anything aside from his heart and he wondered how it was still beating from all the heartbreak he has been through. It was faint, and slow but it was still there.

"Bye Calum, I will see you later."

Ashton's voice didn't sound like him, it was forced and strained and drained of all emotion. His moves almost robotic.

His Dad was asleep from what he could hear and his siblings and mother weren't home so he went straight to his room glad there would be no interruptions

«trigger warning, if you are easily triggered, skip please i love you even if you don't love yourself»

Ashton was no longer in control of his body.

His moves robotic and stiff but he moved swiftly to the box he had under his bed.

There were tears streaming from Ashton's eyes but he could care less.

He didn't care anymore. He was sick of caring.

Taking out the blade, lighter, and pack of cigarettes from inside the small box, Ashton stripped himself of his clothes, staying in his boxers. He brought a cigarette to his lips lighting it with ease.

It had been so long since he felt the sting of nicotine in his lungs and he actually liked it.

The distraught boy sat against his bedroom door not bothering opening a window or try to hide the smell from his Father.  

"I missed you" Ashton's voice was so different and the tone so much different from his usual upbeat vocals.

But the only way Ashton knew how to deal with pain was to inflict more upon himself.

The blade went across his thighs in one crooked line.

"One for being pathetic." cut "Two for being so hopeless." cut & burn "Three for thinking Luke actually liked you." cut  

Ashton continued to spur things he hated about himself and soon his thighs and arms and stomach where covered in cuts, bruises and burns.

Puffing smoke from his nose, Ashton tried to stand up only to fall again.

"I'm so stupid and worthless."

Ashton lay down on the floor, too emotionally drained to even try to get on his bed, and fell into a dreamless sleep.

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:((( I'm sorry I feel like this chapter is really bad, but it was almost 1,000 words so there is that.

This was actually a kinda happy chapter when I started it but I got really sad and bing bam sad chapter.

I hope I didn't trigger anybody, you're an amazing person remember that please.

anD HOT DAMN AMA's

THE BOYS LOOKED REALLY GOOD AND 5SOS WON THEIR AMA AND WERE SO HAPY AND I WANT MICHAEL TO WEAR SHIRTS TOO BIG FOR HIM MORE OFTEN. WILAY WAS REALLY GOOD AND JADEN SMITH LIKED IT A LOT AND THE GUYS ARE PROBABLY ARE VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.

AND THEN MY BOYS WON 3/3 OF THE AMA's  THEY WERE NOMINATED FOR AND BEAT BEYONCE WOW I'M SO PROUD.

Also Zayn got a boner and hid behind Niall when they accepted an award and aye papi.

This was very ew chapter I'm sorry :(.

I love you okay?

 

bye bub -Ausha