You're Not My Sister - Demi Lovato

{2} {The Devil Awaits}

I opened the front door to our house as quietly as possible; trying to avoid contact with my family, but it was no use.

My mother spotted me. "Come and say hello to your sister." She scolded me. I trudged over to demi, "hi." I muttered with my head down.

Demi didn't even acknowledge me, Maddie had just entered the room and they flew into each other's arms. "I missed you so much baby girl." Demi squealed, how sad.

There was a knock at the door then the man let himself in, ugh, Wilmer. "Wilmer!" demi dropped Madison and attached herself to his face.

I walked upstairs without saying another word; I was exhausted from the day and passed out as soon as my head touched my pillow.

I was awoken for my slumber by Maddie shaking me lightly, "dinners ready." Maddie smiled down at me. "Not hungry." I replied. "Please? Mom wants you to eat something." She begged.

I sighed and got up; I slipped on a hoodie and followed Maddie downstairs. I sat next to her with my mom on the other side, much to my disapproval, demi was opposite.

Everyone was eating and talking whilst I was sitting there, pushing the food from one side of the plate to the other. "Eat something honey." My mom looked sad so I took the fork and stabbed a piece of salad, shoving it into my mouth.

I chewed slowly then returned to pushing the food around the plate. "She's just trying to copy me." Demi spat smugly. I lost it; I picked up my plate and threw it towards her before storming to my room.

I went into my bathroom and locked the door; I sat on the floor and reached into the cupboard, getting my blade.

I played with it in my hands for a moment before grasping it tightly. I pressed it hard against my wrist and dragged it from left to right.

I watched in awe as the blood dripped onto the floor. It was beautiful in a way, the inner beauty and serenity of my body was allowed to run free.

I traced the cuts with my fingers, drowning them in blood. I rubbed the substance between my thumb and forefinger, admiring it.

This thing, that had once been in my body, supporting my life, had now escaped. Much like my feelings. Me dragging a piece of metal across my skin released much more than the red, slightly sticky, blood I was feeling.

I stood up and excited my bathroom, making my way over to my desk. I took out my journal and began to write.

Life is simple, it's just not easy.

We are expected to live in happiness and solitude yet the world around us represents anger and resentment. We are shown how bad people can be to each other, how vile one human can be to someone equal to them. But, are we equal at all.

We are born to live in a world where our lives are pre planned out for us. We are living in a prison, controlled by people above our government, the government we supposedly voted for by freedom of choice.

But in this world, where people who differ from our social normality or have independent thought are frowned upon and mocked by the 'norm' or society.

We are born into a family where we are taught to love and prosper in life, and then we are torn away by education and other people who are the same. We are expected to educate ourselves throughout our lives and then use the knowledge and miniscule power it gave us to work until our deaths.

Whereas others, who are 'above' us on the chart live off of the work we do. They supply their needs and demands by working us, almost like slaves. If we do not work then we cannot live. Where as if they do not work, they can still strive to live an extravagant and exquisite lifestyle we could only dream of.

I liked writing, I'm not good at it, but I like it. I always end up rambling and going off on a tangent far from my original topic.

I have been keeping this journal for a few months now, just writing rants in it about random crap. It took my mind off things; it was a distraction to me, my escape.

I proceeded to my bed, I was done with the day, it had drained me. Not just physically either, it drains me emotionally when Demi is around. Don't get me wrong, I love her so much, she's my sister for god's sake.

But we both get angry easily, we switch moods almost instantaneously. It's not a good mix when there are two people like that trying to communicate.

We used to get on better, we were actually like siblings. But then Demi got involved in the wrong crowd, intoxicating herself daily. It had a huge effect on our relationship.

She managed to repair it with my other siblings, Dallas and Madison, but with me, I wasn't having any of it.

In a way I blamed myself for our crumbling relationship, but we both were to blame. We got on sometimes, sometimes it was back to normal, but that minority was a rare event.

It usually happened after we had both come out of depressive states and been in therapy. Other than that, we usually argued or ignored each other.