I guess I understood why Josh did what he did... after all; his friends were the reason his sisters had died and why shouldn't they be punished for that? And with all the stuff I found out about him after they died... he wasn't a well man. He had a lot of issues and I could accept that we were partly to blame for that. I'd always been close to Josh, closer than the others, and I guess part of me always wondered if maybe he cared for me in the way I cared for him... but I was never brave enough to bring it up.
That's why I took his death so badly.
Mike told us that he'd been killed when we left the mountains and we all accepted that he was gone... it wasn't until now, months later, that he told me otherwise.
"What do you mean he got dragged away? You didn't see him die?" I frowned as I held the phone to my ear.
"Well... no, but if he was dragged away then of course they'd have killed him," Mike replied flatly. We had all kept in contact after the incident but this was only the second time I'd spoken to Mike since then.
"You told us that he died! He might have been alive when you left him!"
"Sam, trust me... he's dead."
"You don't know that," I argued and he sighed heavily at me.
"Look... what happened to Josh was awful... but you can't beat yourself up or blame me for leaving him. We had to go and we couldn't go wandering around the mines and wait to be ripped apart by a bunch of wendigos, could we?"
I was quiet and he sighed again, "Sam... you need to let this go. Josh was our friend but he's gone. So is Emily, so is Matt and so is Jess."
"I know... I'm sorry, Mike. I didn't mean-"
"It's okay. We've all got to come to terms with it, right?"
It had been tough for him losing Jess and I felt guilty for bringing it all up again.
"Look, I'm gonna go. Just... try not to obsess over it all, alright?"
"Yeah... see ya Mike."
"Catch you later," he hung up.
I stood for a while staring at the phone, going over what he'd just told me. Had we really just left Josh up there without knowing if he'd died? At least we had the bodies of our other friends...
I took a deep breath.
Something felt wrong... usually I could let go of things like this-the probability that Josh was alive was so minuscule that everyone was certain that he was... part of me was certain that he was... then why didn't the thought settle...?
I decided at that moment to take a little trip up to the lodge and ordered tickets for the following day, blowing off work last minute after being owed a few weeks holiday.
The journey there went smoothly and I was surprisingly calm as I got closer to the location where I'd been through hell months before. I didn't tell the others I was going in case they tried to convince me not to go, and I felt a little guilty for that.
But what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.
The cable cars that had once been broken were working again and I climbed inside. I huddled into the seat with my bags, feeling suddenly wary about being here after everything. It was cold but not as cold as before, and the ride up was quicker than I remembered.
The building where we'd stayed had not been rebuilt, and after everything that went on there had been no visitors, however the smaller cabin a little way up the trail was still livable so I went there. I dropped my bags off and didn't hesitate before leaving the safety of the building and heading back down to the mines.
It was dark and a lot of it looked too unstable for anyone to have visited, let alone live down there! But I supposed I was looking for a body rather than a living person... that was what I'd been telling myself anyway.
I shifted some of the old wooden beams and clambered inside, clicking on my torch and gazing around the dusty tunnel. The thought that this was a terrible idea briefly flickered in my mind but I brushed it off and walked further into the darkness.
After around half an hour, in which time I'd already stumbled and fell twice over the rubble, I heard movement and shone the torch to look to a cave to my right. I held my breath, suddenly afraid that we hadn't managed to kill all of the monsters that had once lurked down here, and I could see the beam of light shuddering as my hand trembled.
I did see something back there in the shadows... and it was too big to be a rat. I took a step backwards, ready to run, when I spotted a blue sleeve on the figure. I squinted, trying to get a better look, and hastily walked forward again. I wanted to run away but the blue fabric was too familiar...
I walked a little further forward and that's when I noticed the dungarees, and my blood ran cold.
"... Josh...?" I croaked, barely able to speak at all.
He spun to face me and I instantly flinched away-his skin was blotched with decay and he had old wounds across his face, his eyes were clouded and pale, and one looked as though it had an open injury that was infected. The most shocking feature, though, was his mouth... it was stretched open one side to show sharp, uneven teeth that jutted out of his gums.
I couldn't breathe and was frozen on the spot as he dropped what he was holding onto the floor and started towards me. I winced back as he got closer but my legs were unwilling to move, so all I could do was cower to the floor.
"Josh, stop, it's me! Sam!"
To my surprise, he did stop. I glanced up at him and he looked down at me silently. His head was tilted to the right slightly but his face was expressionless.
"It's me," I repeated, "I came back to find you."
He didn't acknowledge that he understood what I was saying and I slowly stoop upright, "can you hear me? Do you know who I am?"
Nothing.
He looked quite terrifying up close and I was in half a mind to flee from the creature that used to be my friend... but he wasn't showing signs of aggression or malice so I tried to think of another approach.
I sighed and looked into his dull eyes, "can you come with me? Follow?" I beckoned with my hand but he only stared blankly at my fingers.
I wasnt sure how else I could communicate with him and I felt my heart sink at the thought of leaving him down here.
"I don't want to leave you here again, Josh... you need to come with me. I'll help you."
I put my hand out and I noticed his body tense, so I quickly retracted it. This wasn't working.
I backed away a little, getting ready to leave, and he took a shuffling step forward.
"Good, that's it. Just follow me, okay?"
I took another few steps away and he began to trail behind me.
When I was confident that he was going to stay close behind, I began to walk back the way I'd come and towards the exit, and hoped that he wouldn't suddenly decide that I looked like something good to eat.
