Hanging in there

The girl with the pretty eyes and the prettier soul.

I think about you. I think about you way more than I should. I think about your smile, I think about your laugh, I think about your stupid skater boy impression. I especially think about your lips. that sounds weird I know but goddamnit they made me feel so safe. I trusted you with my life. I still do. I think about what would happen if you knew this the last time you came over. that I was still in love with you. that I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to hold you so close. the other day when you were having a rough night. goddamnit, I just wanted to hold you and kisses your tears away. when you told me you were straight my whole world felt like it shattered. you weren't mine. you weren't ever going to be. I felt like I never mattered to you. that I was some pawn in a game. that you used me. I was so angry. i know that's not the case now. I've come to realize I won't be able to hold you like that, that I won't be able to admire the way your eyelashes fall onto your cheeks when you're asleep, how when you're having a good dream you giggle oh so softly. every time I watch circle or teeth, or cube, or any time I sit out in the rain (or even in the shower bc it reminds me of the rain) you're there. you're in my mind all the time. and I don't know if I hate it or love it

Hello! I'm Blue, this is pretty much just where im gonna pour my emotions. some parts may have trigger warning. this part is about a girl i once got to call mine. she still means the absolute world to me