Well, That Was A Thing (Good Omens One-Shots)

7; The Sea Serpent's Curse

"Then why have you come all this way?" Asked Gabriel as he circled around him, still wary.

Lucifer took a deep breath. "I have a proposal for you and your kingdom."

"And what might that be? To surrender or go to war? Oh wait, that's what you did last time. 20 years ago."

"Yes, and I don't know about you, but I've grown quite tired of it." Replied the patriarch of the Morningstar family.

If Gabriel's stare could shoot daggers, Lucifer would have been skewered. "Finally had your fill of slaughtering my people?"

"Let me be frank with you, Gabriel: I want to make a deal." Now he started circling as well.

The ruler of the Silver Sea crossed his arms, as skeptic as ever. "And I should accept this because...?"

"Because you need it as much as we do."

There was a hint of a smirk on the purple-eyed king's face. "I highly doubt that, Lucifer."

Lucifer stopped moving, in hopes that he'd take him seriously if he stopped giving him a reason to be paranoid. "We need food, you need more healing materials. We each have what the other needs. So, we cut a deal. Come to an understanding." He explained.

"And how do I know you won't go back on your word?" Asked Gabriel with a raised brow.

"If there is a union of sorts, we both have incentive to keep it peaceful on our respective ends."

"What exactly are you proposing, Lucifer?"

The ruler of the Onyx Sea showed off his best charming smile. "A proposal. Have you not been paying attention?... I've heard rumors that you aren't exactly... happy with your youngest son."

"I'm sure I'm still much happier than you are with yours." Replied Gabriel in a heartbeat.

"That brings me to the actual proposal: they're still family. If we unite our kingdoms through marriage, no matter how little we care of them outside of sharing our names, this would be our incentive to not butcher each other. After all, we both have other children we could marry off for power or wealth. We unite the ugly ducklings for the greater-good, we don't have to worry about finding them proper suitors and we can spend our time worrying about matters which are actually important..." He explained.

Lucifer then extended his arm to Gabriel, as if he was showing him something. "We both know they're more burden than anything. What do you say we use them so for something, so it stops feeling like they're a waste of space?"

"Do you really expect me to send Aziraphale to live in the Onyx Sea with you?" Gabriel intentionally sounded like he thought himself better than the merman in front of him.

Lucifer raised a brow, not at all phased by the other monarch's attempt at an insult, and continued. "Would you rather Crowley go live in the Silver Sea with you? My serpent of a son, ruining your pretty little palace? He was raised with me, no one back home has ever ever gotten a disease from him but I can't guarantee your lot will be as lucky. After all, Michael is quite prone to illness, isn't she? Just like her poor mother..."

Gabriel visibly shifted, realization washed over him, followed by an anger which quickly took over his face. His blood was boiling. "You sneaky, worthless excuse for a ruler! You sent something contaminated to my palace! You planned all this to make sure I had no choice but to accept!" Michael had been feeling a bit under the weather lately but everyone had assumed it was because of the time of year.

Lucifer glared at him mockingly. "Shall I give you a prize for figuring out something that was staring at you, right in the face? When was the last time anyone in your part of the ocean was infected with Leviathan's disease?"