Bubbles

Chapter 23

For Kula, that little conversation changed everything. Suddenly, Nalia was closer than ever. They rarely brought it up, but they didn't have to. As far as Kula was concerned, one little smile said 'I love you' just as efficiently as speech.

But Nalia was different, and Kula didn't realize that nearly as quickly as she should have.

She had decided to visit Nalia's room. Kula was in a decent mood that day – she'd been outside with Brendan, laughing and talking as they always did – and figured that Nalia could only ever make her day better. Kula sighed a little happy sigh and walked down the corridor- and froze.

Underneath all the bustle of life in the castle, underneath the banging and clattering of the kitchen and the laughter of the maids, she could hear crying. Faint, but still there.

Kula tried to open Nalia's door, but found it locked. The crying was definitely coming from inside.

"Nalia, sweetie, can you let me in? It's Kula."

Silence. Just quiet gasps.

"Nalia, are you okay? Please, just open the door. I want to help."

Quiet. Nothing. Then Kula breathed a sigh of relief as she heard a faint click, followed by scuffling. She burst in, and covered her mouth in shock.

There was Nalia, in the corner, curled up. Tears traced silver lines down her cheek. Her breathing was unsteady, her eyes dark and full of fear.

Kula was scared. She had never seen Nalia like this. But she pushed away her emotions to run to Nalia's side and collapse beside her.

"Lia, what happened?"

Nalia struggled to speak through tears. "D... don't touch me."

Kula's heart pounded. What was going on? "Okay, Lia. I won't touch you. What happened?"

"I'm... I don't... I don't even know who I am anymore." Nalia spoke more to herself than to Kula.

"Nalia... you're going to be okay." It wasn't a question. She needed to be brave for Nalia, now more than ever. Kula found strength flowing from some unknown reservoir deep inside of her. She wasn't going to let Nalia hurt. 

Wordlessly, Nalia shook her head, shaking with tears. Her eyes were unfocused, and it seemed as though she could not hear Kula. Upon closer inspection, the girl seemed almost feverish – covered in sweat, shivering, breathing hard and fast. Kula was afraid, really and truly terrified. She didn't know what was happening, but she knew she had to help her friend.

She repeated this over and over to herself. I am not going to be weak. I am not going to let Nalia be in pain.

"Kula, I'm so sorry." Nalia's voice was quiet, weak. "I'm sorry you need to see this."

"You're going to be fine," Kula insisted. "I'm just going to need to figure out what to do." It occurred to Kula to call for help, but she didn't. Nalia was in no position to be left alone, and Kula didn't want to startle her by shrieking.

Besides, she knew that there was another way. Deep inside of her, she felt the strength. The warmth. She closed her eyes and concentrated on it, tried to pull it to the surface. She didn't know what she was doing, but somehow she knew that this was the only way. She just had to focus.

"Okay, Nalia," Kula said, struggling to keep her voice steady. "I need you to listen to me." She didn't know where this was coming from, but somehow she knew what to say, what to do. "Um... tell me about something. Anything. What did you do yesterday?"

"Yesterday." Nalia was panicked, scared, choked up. "I... I don't remember yesterday, Kula, I can't think of what I did yesterday..." She became increasingly frantic, breathing quick, shallow breaths.

"That's okay," Kula said quickly. "That's fine. Don't worry about it. Just... um... here." She slowly, gently handed Nalia a pillow. "Hold that. Look at it. Focus on it. Describe it."

Nalia shook, but she managed to focus on the pillow. "It... it's yellow. Small. Square-shaped. There're orange beads around the edges. In the center, there's my name in white thread."

"Great. Pick a picture on the wall, describe that, too."

Nalia did. She was like a frightened child, doing everything that Kula instructed without question. Kula longed for a witty quip or sarcastic remark from her friend, but nothing came. She just blindly obeyed, describing a painting, the carpet, a jewelry box, and a necklace from said jewelry box.

"Good, Nalia." Kula fought to keep herself calm. "I want you to focus on your breathing. Deeper breaths. Breath in for four, hold for seven, out for eight, okay? Do it with me." As Kula helped Nalia through the breathing exercise, somewhere in her mind she was wondering how she knew these numbers, how she knew what to do. She had never experienced this before, never heard of it happening in the castle. But she knew, as deeply as she knew anything, that she needed to follow these steps. She needed to help Nalia.

"Okay, Lia. Now I want you to close your eyes. I'm here for you, okay? Think of a place where you feel safe. It can be real, or it can be imagined, that doesn't matter. Just close your eyes and imagine your safe place. Describe it to me."

"I..." Nalia took in a gulping breath. "The mountain. At the top. I'm sitting on a rock, watching the waterfall. It's early morning, and everything's kind of... still. So quiet that you can almost hear the silence. It's cool, but not too cold." She seemed to calm down a little. "The trees are covered in ice. The ground is soft; I can feel it under my boots. The water sprays my face, but it's not unpleasant. It's nice, cooling. And..." Nalia's breathing was definitely improving. "You're there, Ku. You're next to me. We aren't talking. We're just watching the waterfall, listening to the world wake up. It's nice. We're safe in our own world. Nobody's there to make us be something we're not. We just... watch, and listen, and smell, and taste, and feel. We just exist." She was silent, but Kula could tell that Nalia was still in the clearing. She wasn't shaking anymore, and the tears were coming more slowly, calmly. She was okay. Kula waited until, slowly, her friend opened her eyes.

"How do you feel?" Kula tentatively asked.

Nalia looked at her, eyes full of sadness. "Better. I... thank you, Kula." She stood, only to teeter and sit back down, emotionally drained. "Can you leave me alone for a while? I need a minute."

"Of course."

Kula started to move, then stopped at Nalia's voice. "Kula?"

She turned immediately. "Yeah, Lia?"

"You're glowing."

"What? What do you mean?" But Nalia was quiet, staring off into space, deep in thought.

Kula stepped out, closing the door behind her, and finally allowed herself to breathe. She hadn't noticed how late it was getting. Had she been in that room for an hour? Two? Kula had no idea.

God, she hoped Nalia would be okay.