as long as you care

ix. THEY WON'T BREAK US

chapter nine,

they won't break us.

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[unedited] 9.

"hey mom." i announced, shutting the door gently behind me. there was a spring to my step as i removed my jacket, placing it on the rack.

"hi darryl." she smiled, noticing my unusual happiness, "how was school?"

"really good." i said, walking closer to her. she was cooking dinner. "a boy likes me."

my mom gasped, "tell me more!"

"okay, okay.." i trailed, sitting at the kitchen table. my mom closed the oven and sat across from me, "who is he? is it clay? because me and your dad had some bet-"

"mom! oh my god! no, it isn't!" i frowned, blushing wildly. "so basically, he's really sweet. he has really pretty eyes and he calls me beautiful, honey, muffin, everything like that. he's super considerate and smart and always makes me feel like i'm special. he even left his group of friends to be with me."

my mom smile grew bigger, "my baby is so big now. look at you!" she gasped, "what's his number?"

"he's a zero like me, but we both know how inaccurate the numbers are." i reminded her, turning fuzzy at the thought of him. "he's perfect."

"am i going to be meeting him any time soon?" she asked, and i shrugged, "i don't know. we haven't really made things serious, yet."

"well, when you two are serious, i'll be glad to have him over for dinner." my mom sweetly offered.

"thank you, mom." i thanked, rummaging through my bag and pulling out a textbook, "i have some homework to do."

"okay, darryl. i'll call you once the food is finished."

and that was my cue, so i brought my books and ran to my room.

as i shut the door behind me, i could feel the swarm of butterflies coming. zak had been stuck in my head all day. everything involved him. oh, zak's probably good at math or zak could probably help me with this or zak would look good in that top. it was endless, but i didn't complain, because i'd rather it be endless than ending.

my smile was foolishly stuck on my face, making my cheeks grow sore. this was the best i had ever felt in months.

in my pocket, my phone started to buzz. i pulled it out of my pocket, noticing clay calling.

i sighed, pressing decline.

walking over to my chair, i sat myself down, daydreaming of zak. his lips his hair, his everything. his imperfectly beautiful self. i thought of his words, how he spoke so clearly with such passion; his eyes and how they always sparkled and drifted off to the side when he was thinking hard about something; his names that always made me feel like i was invincible.

the glory was cut off by a ring of disappointment. i groaned, pressing answer, "what?"

"darryl, look," clay started, clearly out of breath, "i know we're not on good terms right now, but something about you and zak is going around. i don't wanna be the one to tell you this but you deserve to know."

"what?" i asked, intently listening for his response.

"one of the tens.. or, used to be tens, overheard you and zak talking in the change rooms today. they recorded it. and posted it on their instagram story. you should check it out."

i felt my blood run cold. gripping my phone with an unsteady grip, i shakily asked, "rec- recorded it?"

"yeah.. i'm trying my best to get it removed, i swear. i've messaged him and all of his friends already. you don't deserve this, darryl, remember that." funny how he told me differently in the heat of the moment.

"do you have zak's number?" i stuttered, reminiscing everything i told him.

i told him i was gay. something i had been hiding for years, and was definitely not ready to be out. i was already judged enough, what would they do with that information?

what if zak was tired of standing up for me? what if he decided he had already taken enough hits, and this was the last straw?

no. that wouldn't happen because i wouldn't let it. they can take away my confidence, my positive self image, and my sexuality, but they couldn't take zak.

"yeah. i do. i'll send it to you." clay said, tapping some digits into his phone. i stared deeply into my wall, placing a hand on my forehead. "thank you for telling me, vince."

"no problem. don't tell him i gave you his number." clay replied quickly, ending the call with a, "stay true to you, darryl."

i went to reply, but the beeping cut me off. instantly, i dialed zak's number.

"hello?"

"zak.." my voice was dry, lacking emotion, "did you — did you see the vid-"

"yeah." zak replied, sounding the same as i did, "you don't deserve that."

"you don't either." i felt a tear slide town my cheek, my heart beating loudly in my chest. "i just — when, when one good thing happens to me, it all has to just.." i paused, wiping my eyes, "go wrong. i can never be happy with anything. i'm so rude, i should be thinking about you, too. it's not all about me all the time." with every slide of my finger, more tears slid, "i hope you're okay, zak."

i heard a sniffle on the other side of the call. oh god. emotional zak. he always held such a strong image of himself, i never thought i'd be the one to see him break.

"remember.." he dragged, his voice solemn and low, "we have each other out of this. we'll get through it together." and that only made me cry more. "as long as we're strong, they won't break us. we're both stronger than all of them. we can withstand them."

"thank you." i whimpered, completely breaking down. i hated society. i hated everyone who thought they were entitled to an opinion they knew nothing about. i hated the fact that they took the one thing i thought i had to myself. i hate them. i hate them all.

"i love you." zak whispered from his end, "i love you so goddamn much, it hurts." he passionately replied, "you're mine. no one is never gonna take you away from me again."

i listened to him, the crack in my heart slowly being filled up again.

"can i see you? right now? at the stop sign at the edge of our street?" zak asked, and i nodded although he couldn't see me, "yes, of course. i'll go right now."

the call ended, and i stood up from my seat, storming out of my room and into my washroom.

in the blurred vision of my teary eyes, i glanced into the mirror. upon my forehead, i saw a one. in front of the zero.

a number ten was visible.

i blinked and it was gone.

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