Soulmates: Writing on Skin [Seaycee AU]

Twenty-one

"She's one smart cookie." The older remarked. "Anyways, what are you gonna do about it?"

"That's the problem. I don't know."

Kylie adjusted herself so she face Kaycee with her legs crossed underneath her, her hands folded in her lap. "Tell me exactly how you're feeling."

"There are certain times when I'm happy with Jack and I feel like I'm on top of the world." Kaycee said hesitantly. "And then there are times when I feel absolutely nothing."

"How often do you actually feel happy to be with him?

"When we first got together, I was so genuinely happy, but then he started getting jealous and that was a huge turnoff." Her voice wavered, pondering what to say next. "And ever since we took that break, he's been better with the jealousy, so I've been happy recently."

"But how long until he starts getting jealous again?" Kylie questioned. "You and Sean are going to get more jobs, do more things together. Do you really think he's going to be able to accept that?"

Kaycee shook her head. "I don't know, Ky. That's kind of why I'm asking for your advice."

"You can't change people." Kylie stated matter-of-factly. "You're going to get approached for something huge with Sean eventually, and the jealousy is going to come out again. I've dated guys like that, Kayc. They won't change."

Kaycee groaned, throwing herself back on the bed so she was staring at the ceiling. She felt defeated, she really enjoyed Jack's company at certain times, but then there were times when he was overbearing. She didn't know if she was ready to let him go yet, though. They had so many good times together, but then there were the fights. The amount of times they bickered nearly outweighed the good memories that they had. No matter how many times Kaycee went through the pros and cons in her head, she always came to the same conclusion; she was stuck.

"I know this sounds stupid, but the thought of breaking up with him makes me queasy." Kaycee mumbled, still staring at the white ceiling above her. "I feel like I've almost become dependent on him for validation."

Kylie exhaled, lying down beside her sister. "That's not stupid at all. Breakups suck, and in some ways, you probably have become dependent on him."

"So what do I do?" Kaycee whined in exasperation. "I've run through so many lists of pros and cons that my head is spinning, and they kind of even each other out! I'm stuck."

Kylie tilted her head so she was looking at Kaycee now. "When it comes to a pros and cons list with relationships, the pros need to heavily outweigh the cons in order for you to stay with that person."

"You think so?"

Kylie nodded, "I know so. You've gotta be with a person who makes you happy a majority of the time, not just half of the time."

Kaycee closed her eyes in thought, trying to remember back several months ago, what life was like without Jack. She was certainly less stressed, being in a relationship was hard work. She remembered back to when her and Jack first started talking, how great it was to just have him as a friend. Once they crossed the line from friendship to dating, she didn't enjoy his company as much, and she could see that now.

But she didn't know if she could end things, she was too much of a chicken. She knew she'd see Jack two days from now and the walls she was building up now would come crashing down. She was terrible with confrontation, and she'd never broken up with someone before, she still cared about Jack deeply, but in more of a platonic way.

"We're going out to lunch on Saturday." Kaycee spoke into the silent room. "I've been avoiding him and he's upset, so he wanted to meet up and talk about it."