The Game of Love and Losers

EIGHTEEN

Despite her earlier weariness, Amanda found it hard to sleep that night, still unsure what had just happened between her and Dave, the way he had looked at her, and the feeling that had overcame her, it had been something she had never experienced before. Only that she felt herself getting sucked into the intensity of Dave's gaze, in a way that had made her feel like her insides were starting to melt, even thinking about it now, made her face still heat up, and it all seemed a little improper somehow in the light of the oncoming day.  What had she been thinking of, putting her hands on him like that in the first place? she kept chiding herself, even if it had been with innocent intentions at first? She had overstepped the boundaries between them, which was so unlike her usual cautious self.

She wanted to crawl under a rock and hide, so she wouldn't have to face him again, every time she thought about it. Goodness only knew what he thought of her now, it didn't help every time she closed her eye, she still visions his tattooed chest, which seemed to be now imprinted in her brain.

So, for most of the night she tossed and turned, but finally fell into an unsettled slumber in the early hours of the morning.

Dave was already up and gone the following morning, when she finally dared to leave her bedroom much to Amanda's relief. Thankfully it was Saturday, her free day, so she decided avoiding Dave wasn't going to be difficult. After she had showered and dressed, Amanda had managed to escape from the pub from the side door, without running into him. She planned to spend most of her morning in the public library using the computers there, for swotting up and practising the newest things she had learned on her college course, just  to keep her mind distracted from what had happened the evening before.

But, as much as she tried to focus on what she was supposed to be doing, her thoughts would wander back to Dave, as she knew she couldn't avoid him forever by hiding in public libraries and coffee shops for most of the day. They still lived under the same roof, so she knew coming face to face with him again, was something she was going to have to deal with. She just wasn't sure how she should act now, in front of him, not sure if she should apologise again or not.

She finally returned to the apartment later that afternoon, knowing Dave would be busy in the bar down below. But being in the apartment was also a sharp reminder of what had occurred, and she found herself curled up on the sofa hugging the cushion she had threw at him the evening before, when things had been so relaxed and easy between them, and she wondered if it would ever be that way between them again.

But, when she was finally brave enough to go down to the bar to face him later that evening, even though she wasn't helping out, and safely  staying on the customer side of the counter, the awkwardness and embarrassment she imagined in her mind wasn't quite so bad in reality.

 Dave greeted her easily enough, asking her how her day had been, and did she catch up on her coursework ok at the library? as if nothing in particular had occurred between them the night before. She realised, with some relief that perhaps when he had told her to forget about it, he had meant it.

Maybe in her mind, she had made a bigger deal of it than he had done in the end. So, she decided it was best to take the lead from him, and didn't mention anything about the night before, feeling a little foolish now, if he was happy to overlook it, then so was she.

Though, when she was behind the bar with him, helping out later that week, she did find that they  stuck to safe casual topics of conversations, and were  acting a little more reserved around each other, which was understandable she supposed under the circumstances.

Even now, in the evening, when they found themselves heading up to the apartment together, after the shift finished, Amanda didn't hang around, for idle chit-chat with him anymore, and instead headed straight for her bedroom not wanting to make things awkward between them again.