Thrilling » Huang Renjun

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When the chains around her wrists loosened, she slipped her arms from him and let out a small cry at the freeing sensation but the desperation of him set in.

She didn't even have the chance to look up at him before he said already had his arms around her torso, hoisting her up on her knees as he buried his head in her neck.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry." He repeated profusely, his voice small and guilty.
"Im so fucking sorry Jieun, it's all my fault-"

"Renjun-"
He shook his head and pulled away from her, eyes red and tears had already began trailing down his cheeks.

"It's my fault, I'm so sorry this happened to you baby." He whispered out, his thumb brushing lightly against the cut above her eyebrows, making her flinch slightly.

"It's not your fault." She shook her head repetitively, her fists balling the material of his t-shirt as she looked up at him.
Her bottom lip stuck out as she pouted habitually when she was upset.

"I lo-"

"I told you not to fall for me." Renjun muttered, one palm cupping her cheek as he placed his forehead against hers.

A pang hit her heart and her mouth went dry as those words fell from his lips and she couldn't help but bit her lip to stop herself from reacting too much.
She didn't want to cry anymore.

"You're so perfect Jieun, you're so beautiful and radiant and- and I'm not any of them.
You deserve someone who isn't me, I'm such a fucked up deranged freak. I can't let you ruin yourself for me, I can't."

Renjun pulled away from her, looking into her eyes once more, her fists gripping his t-shirt hard as her eyes widened in realisation.

"Renjun-" her voice cracked as she said his name, mouth parting and tears glistening again.

"I made your life hell Jieun, I almost killed you countless times- I killed you-"
"B-but you saved me-"
"I still hurt you, I continued to hurt you and you- ugh. This isn't easy for me." He said, inching away from her.

Jieun knew what was coming, but she didn't want to hear it- she wanted him to say he loved her back and for them to live happily.

But that only happened in the movies.
It was a fairytale, a fantasy.
Of course it wouldn't happen to her.

"Please, please Renjun!" She exclaimed as tears slipped down her cheeks and he had to look away. Jieun put her hands on his shoulders, sliding up to the base of her neck.

"I-its okay if you don't feel the same, h-honestly! I don't care, just please-"

"You think I don't feel the same?" He asked suddenly, looking down at her.
"Fuck sakes Jieun I'm fucking in love with you, i fucking love you so much that I can't- I can't risk hurting you!"

"Renjun..." She cried out in frustration, her fingers curling slightly in the wisps of his hair and he sniffled and shook his head.

"You know I have to."
"No you don't, please just stay here- you can't, no please I need you-"
"You don't need me," he muttered, his thumb grazing past her tears.

"I need to let you go."

"No, no. Please Jun, please don't!" She cried out, lunging forward and wrapping her arms around him tightly.
She sobbed into his neck and Renjun bit his lip, looking up at the ceiling as he willed himself to stop crying.

He let out a small sigh, heavy heart as he lifted her up- her legs hooking around his waist as he began to walk out of the basement.

Bodies littered the house as they walked past but she couldn't even bring herself to care as she clutched onto him, savouring his warmth.

"Please don't leave me." She whispered out her lips brushing against his neck.
He didn't say anything, lump in his throat and his own heart was ripping in two as they reached outside.

Renjun leaned down slightly, her feet hitting the ground but she wouldn't let go of him.
"Look at me," he said softly.

Jieun sniffled, looking up at him who had the warmest smile, eyes full of love- for her.

"Still such a cry baby hm?" He joked, wiping her tears but the humourous smile left his lips as he gazed into her eyes.

"I love you Lee Jieun."

Renjun dipped his head down, his hand on her cheek- the other one intertwined with her own fingers.
He tilted his head and his lips ghosted over hers.

"So fucking much."

The long awaited anticipation came to a close as his soft lips pressed softly against hers, the coldness of the silver ring in his lips oddly soothing.

Her own hand came to the base of his neck, giving the same amount of love back- the one kiss saying anything that needed to be said.

It was short lived when he pulled away and Jieun didn't want to let him go, knowing he wouldn't listen to her.
"I love you, p-please just stay-"

Renjun took a step back, looking over to the van that had pulled up, Jeno leaning against it with the keys in his hand, sad smile on his lips.

"Your rides here." Renjun said, nodding over to the van and Jieun looked up at him, tightening her grip on his hand.
"You're coming too right?" She asked with her lips quivering.

He still had a soft warm smile on his lips, brushing the hair out of her face but he gave a shake of his head.

He began walking away from her, the distance between them increasing and she stepped forward to close it, desperate.

"R-renjun-"

He had now turned away, only their pinkies locked and she wanted nothing more than him to turn around and tell her he was staying.

But he didn't.

His finger slipped out from hers, breaking whatever connection they had and left without a second glance.