After The End: Book 1

11. Are you afraid of dying?

I stood in my empty bedroom with a lighter in one hand and a bag of coke in the other. It was so hard to pretend that I didn't want it. Even with the boys in the other room awaiting my return, I wanted it so badly. And the alcohol was making it even harder to deny.

I didn't even remember where it came from. I had opened a junk drawer on my nightstand looking for the lighter and there it sat. I hadn't even known it was there.

"Stop Harry," I said to myself quietly. I tossed the coke into the drawer where I'd found it and turned away. Trying to walk away felt impossible under the weight of their temptation, so I stood there instead silently staring at it. I couldn't snap myself out of it.

My bedroom door opened and Louis fumbled in, hitting the floor in front of me. Without thinking, I kicked the drawer closed and whipped to face his form on the floor. He was on his knees looking disoriented and nervous, staring at me with wide eyes.

"What the fuck?" I blurted confused by what I was looking at.

Jade walked in behind him with 2 men I knew to be named Evan and Marcus. I looked at them confused. Then I looked back at Louis. As he scrambled off of the floor I could see him wavering. His hair was all over the place and his forehead was deeply creased in confusion. He stumbled across the room to stand infront of me, but he was still shaking. What was wrong with him?

My room was pretty large, but it felt small with this many people in it. Especially these people. I knew that blowing them off would backfire on me, but I was in no way prepared for them now. I didn't even know what this visit entailed but I knew for a fact that when Jade employed Evan and Marcus, people got hurt. This wasn't going to end well.

Despite this knowledge, I put my hand gently on Louis shoulder and stood side by side with him. His face was bruised in several areas. His disheveled hair had a little blood in it. His face looked dazed and his pupils were dilated, nearly eliminating the blue. I looked into his eyes and saw everything. Anger. Betrayal. Sadness.

"What's happening?" I spat out at Jade.

"Don't worry, we just had to calm him down a little," Jade mused.

They had drugged him. Louis expression turned momentarily angry and then dissipated as he put his hand to his chest in a panicked expression. I recognized the sentiment. I could see the powder on his nose now. Louis heart was probably racing. His thoughts were probably muddled and panicked. I felt a wave of guilt consuming me, but shoved it off. Now wasn't a good time to lose it. I needed to protect him from what was apparently a colossal fuck up on my part.

"Louis," I stepped in front of him to separate him from the scary people in my doorway. I mustered my angriest voice. I hoped the people in the kitchen didn't hear. "What did I say about fucking with him Jade?"

Jade scowled. "You lost your right to dictate my cards when you ghosted."

I had blocked the number. I hadn't wanted to be offered drugs so I'd blocked every number I could think of. I didn't want to be tempted. Now I was realizing how stupid that sounded.

"I was taking a break," I snapped. That wasn't entirely a lie. A break from what exactly, I wasn't sure.

"You had obligations," Marcus reminded me. His eyeliner was extra dark today making him scarier to look at than normal.

I knew about those obligations. I had known all along. I also knew it was a dangerous move to "ghost" as Jade had put it. I had been desperate and scared that any contact with her would drag me back down the hole. I thought maybe if I got a little more adjusted first... it had been a pipe dream. I'd always feared her showing up but I never imagined she'd bring the goons. Except I had, in the back of my mind. Id seen her do it before to others. I just thought I was different on account of our sex life together,which clearly didn't change my value to her.

I glanced back to Louis nervously to find him looking close to hysteria. Still, he glared at me and I realized he clearly had been given some version of the truth from them. Beneath his panic, I wondered how much he truly hated me in this moment. He would never forgive me for whatever had been done to him. He couldn't.

"What do you want from me?" I asked more resigned than angry. I needed to just get rid of them. I needed to end this for Louis. "I'll get you your money and you can go."

"It's a little late for money," Evan said.

"Money was the deal," I snapped. I remembered the day clearly. The high I was riding when the cop got the drop on me. The devilish smile that he'd gotten when I'd had to trade the almost half kilo in my backpack for my freedom haunted me. So did the £15,000 I owed Jade. I'd made the mistake here of not realizing that £15,000 meant something different to her. I was a millionaire having spent several years in the public stardom. I had viewed this as inconvenient money that I would have a hard time spending without Louis noticing. She had viewed this as an offense of great nature. I was just now catching on to how seriously I had fucked up.

"Responding to me was the deal," Jade said. Her smile was angry and vindictive. She was eyeing me like she took very serious offense to my existence. "You fucked with my business Harry. You fucked with my trust."

"Jade," I said in a reasonably calm tone. I did not feel calm. "Listen, I messed up. I'm sorry."

Evans fist connected with my gut out of nowhere. The force knocked the wind out of me. I crumpled to my knees in intense pain.

"Harry!" Louis voice cracked behind me.

I looked up at Jade through winces. "Call off the hound!"

Jade looked really unconcerned with my pain. I realized much too late that she might be beyond reason. She actually might have been crazy, a thought I'd entertained briefly before too.

"I can pay you!" I added again.

"I really wish you would have kept your word on that the first time," Jade said leaning over to meet my eyes. She had the coldest eyes. I hadn't ever noticed that before, but they lacked any emotion. It was eery. "You were one of my favorites too," she added booping a finger on my nose.

"I swear to god Jade," I forced out. My breathing was coming back a little. "I didn't mean to fuck you over like that. I can make it right and then you don't have to ever see me again okay?"

Jade frowned turning away from me. "See? That's my issue. You don't just get to walk away like that. Actions have consequences and the biggest narcs are the ones that walk away!"

I started to realize what was happening here. I'd seen it done once before and it haunted me. Jade had identified me as a flight risk. A problem. I needed to be sorted out. I needed to be reigned in or let go. No in between. She seemed settled on let go.

"Harry. What is she saying?" Louis voice was shaky and terrified behind me, but it was clear.

"Let Louis go," I told her in what I hoped was a commanding tone. I didn't bother answering Louis. I wouldn't need to.

It was becoming evident that Jade's psycho crazy plan meant she intended to have me killed. This house call was about silencing me. It was about making sure I couldn't pass on her information. It was about making sure I couldn't fuck her over again.

"You know we can't do that," Marcus said amused. He was right. I had just dug us a hole that I wasn't sure I could save us from. I'd done it carelessly and viewed myself as above the rules and we were about to pay for it big time. Louis was getting caught in the crossfire of something he'd begged to be spared from. Louis had done everything in his power to save me, and in return I had condemned him to this.