From Dusk to Dawn

A love lost

"Tiring," she simply stated with as much composer as she could muster, "I'm going to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"I asked about your date! Not your day." Angela's voice resonated through the apartment. Silence followed. The entire world froze at her response and left only them. Its intensity and force gripped Audrey and left her speechless. Never in their seven years of knowing each other have Angela ever spoken in such a manner. Chills was sent down her spine. Despite venturing out on unknown territory Audrey knew it was not going to be easy.

"How did you find out?" her voice soft and barely audible as she forced herself to speak. Angela eyes slowly opened. She gave Audrey and intense gaze which left her frozen to the spot. Though she looked very much like her wife, Audrey no longer felt she knew the woman in front of her.

With great effort Angela rose from the chair and wobbled over to the other woman. "Is that really all you care about? Finding out where you failed in covering your tracks?" Her usually soft brown eyes was now replaced with a fierceness that cut through Audrey's facet and made her quiver.

Audrey was taken aback by her words. For a few seconds she struggled to speak. "W..what? No..no that's not true." She stumbled upon her words with each attempt, "th..that's...not wh..what...I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" Angela replied, "because you sure as hell didn't give a damn about how I felt." Her grip on the glass tightened. The entire apartment was filled with Angela's fury. Audrey was tempted to take a step back but held her ground. She knew the moment would come when she would have to come clean to Angela. It was something her actions and desire had set out for her. There was no avoiding it, but never did she thought she would be as scared as she was right then.

She reminded herself to breathe as she slowly took a step towards Angela. "Of course I cared but.." her words were failing her. he desperately tried to recall the speech she had planned out but the only thing her mind kept coming back to was the anger written on her wife's face.

"But what? But you didn't love me enough? But you thought you could have him and still come home to me? But you thought I was too stupid not to realize what was happening right in front of me!" in one swift and unexpected moment, Angela threw the glass against the wall to the left of Audrey, staining the wall and the ground as it shattered on one attempt. Audrey jumped and whimpered in fear as she brought both her hands up to her face in a defensive movement.

Audrey felt herself shrink little by little as Angela came towered over her, glaring directly into her eyes, her teeth clenched.

"How long?" she demanded.

Audrey held her head high in a final attempt to retain her control. "It started two years.." She begun, however, before she had to chance to say anymore her demeanor was cut back down by the force of Angela raised voice.

"FOR TWO YEARS YOU WRE THROWING AWAY EVERYTHING WE MADE TOGTHER FOR WHAT? SEX?" Audrey looked on as Angela walked away from her, eyes closed and shaking her head. "For two years while I was giving our marriage everything I had, you were out there giving your all to him. All the birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, thanksgiving, Valentine's day, family gatherings. All the flowers I bought home for you, all the dinners I cooked, all the dates, all the kisses and all the time we made love. All of those moments he was there."

Audrey stood there. After hearing Angela's words, she no longer attempted to speak. Instead, she thought back to all those moments she shared with her wife. For all those times she wanted nothing more than to escape the role of the loving wife and run into her arms. Whenever Angela brought her flowers, she always wished it was from him. Every diner they had together, she would hurry through it and message him when she was finished. Every date they went on, she pictured herself sitting opposite him, holding him hands and feeling his warmth spreading through her fingers.

Tears started to formed at the edge of her eyes. This was it. There was no going back and they both knew it. Seven years of marriage was coming to an end and it was her fault. She was the one who brought him into their lives and this was the consequences she had to face. She should have been happy, shouldn't she? This was what she wanted all the time, but now that the moment had arrived, she felt her heart shattered into a million pieces as she stared at the woman who had loved her more than life itself.

Angela faced her once again, but instead of anger, there was nothing but raw pain in her eyes. Audrey felt a hitched in her breathing at the sight.

"Do you have any idea how much I gave up for us? Do you have any idea what I walked away from, just for you? Because I loved you and I couldn't even imagine doing something to hurt you because hurting you was like sending a thousand knife thought my own heart." defeated tears flowed freely down Angela's as she spoke, "but you never felt the same way did you? Why else would you have done all this?"

With her left hand raised, Audrey instinctively moved closer to her. She longed to comfort the woman but stopped mid-way when Angela pulled back.

"Don't touch me. Don't come near me. Don't....just don't." Angela responded as she raised her hand to stop Audrey from moving closer to her.

Helpless to do anything, Audrey watched with tears flowing down her cheeks as her wife walked around her and grabbed her jacket and car keys from off the counter. Part of her told her to stop her, to scream out to her, to grab her hand, to block her way, anything that would keep her in her life for even a second longer. However, she simply watched, feet unable to move, while Angela walked out apartment and out of her life. The pressure in her heart intensified at the slamming of the door. When at last the shock wore off Audrey wrapped her hands around herself and fell to the ground, tears gushing down her cheeks and unto the clothes. Her cries resonated through the empty apartment. There was no one to hold her now, no one to wipe her tears. There was no going back no matter how much her heart ached for another chance to be with her.