Sterling

Chapter Four

Taehyung just nodded, not keeping his eyes off the sky above him, seeing how dark they were. He knew a storm was bound to happen, but he just wasn't ready to go home just yet, especially since he wasn't prepared for what was going to happen as soon as he walked through that front door of his house.

"Tae, please take the offer and get a ride home," Hoseok practically pleaded the younger male beside him, eyes round and begging for him to just accept the ride from Jimin. Taehyung looked over and seen how genuinely worried Hoseok was right now, and it made his heart clench because he was putting him through so much worry he didn't want to put him through. "I would give you a ride myself but I have to be at work in fifteen minutes and I still have to go home and change. Please?"

Taehyung scanned his eyes, seeing how he probably wasn't going to be able to get out of this one. He sighed deeply, shoulders slightly slumping as he nodded his head, to which Hoseok let out a big puff of air in relief, a small and relaxed smile plastered on his lips. He nodded at the younger male, placing a gentle and affirming hand on his shoulder, visibly thankful Taehyung wasn't going to put up a fight.

"Thank you," Hoseok thanked him, smiling before giving the male a quick hug, to which Taehyung gladly returned back without hesitation. The embrace was right and comforting, something the small brunette boy enjoyed about Hoseok's hugs-always reassuring and firm, something that seems to give him strength in someway. "I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye!" He pulled away, waving as he walked to his car.

As soon as the hug was broken, Taehyung's body instantly tensed up and he felt his anxiety hit its peak again. He wasn't ready to go home and face them-face the beatings and the hurtful words they would speak to him-about him. He wasn't mentally prepared and he felt his body and mind begin to panic like it always seems to do during situations like this.

When he walked home, he was able to get a breather and relax from everything happening from both at school and home, and he always looked forward to the walks. But since he already told Hoseok he would get a ride from Jimin instead, he couldn't help but allow his hands to shake in fear-the fear consuming him whole body and clouding his mind, and all he could see were the images of his parents and hear their voices yelling at him-tearing him down until he hated himself all over again.

But during the car ride, all he would be doing was thinking about everything, worry about what they would do to him. He hated car rides and they made him feel suffocated, something that made his freak out and not be able to sit any longer-he had to get out of the vehicle or else he felt like he was going to go absolutely crazy and lash out.

It wasn't the car ride itself that made him feel this way, it was the thoughts that came with it, the very little time he had to try and sort his thoughts out, his feelings, and prepare himself for what's to happen next when he gets home. It made him feel rushed and he would panic because he felt rushed and because he felt like he was under this immense amount of pressure to try and prepare himself, feeling like he was losing time faster than anything else.

The feelings and the thoughts that came with it is what always seemed to set him over the edge. His panic attacks would come earlier than usual, his hands would grow shaky, vision became hazy, and he felt like he was always in a daze, but at the same time, his mind was racing a million miles per hour, and it scared the shit out of him-but it was something he grew used to-kind of, but not really.

He tried to hold himself back and try and calm down before it would completely consume him to the point he was hyperventilating in the backseat of the car or in the passenger's seat. It felt like his mind was screaming at him for whatever reason, telling him what was going to happen and like there was just a switch in his brain that would be flipped on because of the screaming voice in his head.

His mind would always play multiple-endless tricks with him, convincing him that this time, the beatings would get worse and some unrealistic scenario would build quickly in his head and soon it would all play out and he was left convinced it would happen, until another one would repeat the exact same process and convince him it was actually that one that would occur instead of the previous one.

Taehyung was abruptly snapped out of his thoughts when he felt something wet hit his cheek, causing him to blink rapidly and look up at the sky above him, seeing how it was slightly or at least trying to rain. He sighed, looking forward as they approached Jimin's car, Yoongi taking the passenger's seat while the small brunette boy took the backseat.

He was already dreading the car ride, and car falling silent between the three males. Yoongi was on his phone and Jimin was driving, eyes glued to the road and one hand on the steering wheel, while Taehyung sat in the back, chewing on his nails nervously, or biting the inside of his lip until it bled and that metallic taste took over his tongue and coated it.

His legs were bouncing as he chewed on his nails, occasionally pulling them away to chew the skin off the inside of his bottom lip, eyes glued outside his window, watching everything pass by in a fast blur. That's one thing he also hated about car rides; he wasn't able to fully enjoy nature as his own speed. Instead, he had to watch everything pass by him in an instance blur, and it upset him because it was nature that gave him peace and a sense of purpose.

It was nature that relaxed him and feel at peace with everything going on in his life. It made him not worry about what's to come when he gets home, and it gave him time to do many things. He didn't know why, but he thought it was because the sky was the only thing that never seemed to let him down and never disappoint him either. It was like the sky was always there for him, comforting him in a way, and giving him a will to live.

It could've just been him and his imagination, but that's what he likes to think about the sky, about nature itself. No one has ever made him feel that way besides his friends, but then again, they have no idea what he goes through, but he also likes to think the sky does and is always there for him, helping him through his toughest of times, like a reassuring pat on the back a friend would give him.

Or Hoseok's hugs.