Christian Ivanov and Alexander Hamilton have finally found each other.
But it wouldn't be love, if every universal force imaginable wasn't hell bent on breaking these two up before their romance has even really begun.
Among the lies, the family sec...
"Is it like a boujee lettuce?" He asked in all seriousness.
"If that's what makes the most sense to you, then yes. Let's go with boujee lettuce." I replied. Christian gave me a look, and I gave him one back that said it's best not to ask.
"Were any of you hungry? I know most of night sort of went to shit at the end there. Did you all eat something?" Brad spoke as we took seats at the kitchen island. My mother had since knocked out on a couch in one of Brad's living rooms. The liquor finally got the best of her. I was just grateful that I wouldn't have to deal with the woman till tomorrow.
"Oh yeah, we had more than enough." Joan replied.
I personally hadn't eaten anything, but food was the farthest thing from my mind.
"Speak for yourself, Joan. I can always eat." Derek replied. Joan smacked the back of his head.
"Derek, you practically cleaned out the Gala's kitchen tonight. What the hell you mean you can still eat?" She scolded him.
"Listen. I'm very stressed right now, okay? Let me stress eat. Let me have this." Derek whined back. Of all the people who deserved to be stress eating tonight, Derek was at the very bottom of the list. Brad pulled out a bag of something and a jar of dip from the fridge. He set both items in front of Derek, who looked at the food awfully confused. "What's this?" Derek asked.
"Derek, stop playing. I know you know what carrots and celery look like." Joan snapped back.
"I know what carrots and celery are, but why? Where's the tortilla chips? And the Queso dip? Where's the high cholesterol, and diabetes?" Derek asked.
"Not in this house." Christian replied. "Brad's a health nut. The only unhealthy things you'll find here is this mans suit collection, and porn stash."
Brad's eyes narrowed at Christian, before he turned to Joan with a swiftness. "He's joking. I don't have a porn stash. I literally have no idea what the fuck he's talking about."
Joan's hand went up to cover her mouth from the explosive laughter I'm sure was threatening to burst out.
"Who even has stash's anymore? That's so Stacy's Mom." Derek chimed in. "The web is the new wave. Did I ever tell you about the Evolution of the Porn Industry? It's some fascinating stuff here, Brad. Society has really upped the potential. Let me take you on a journey-"
"This isn't the time." I replied quickly, trying to mask my own laughter at this point.
"No, he's seriously lying. Christian, tell them you're lying." Brad snapped at Christian. That made Christian laugh as he swung a hand around his brother's shoulder.
"I'm joking, I'm joking! I do remember the time mum found a porn magazine in your room, though. That shit was hilarious. She just set that motherfucker right on the dinner table that night and had us eat supper with a playboy exclusive staring everyone in the face. Man, I think I pissed my pants laughing that day." Christian got out in between laughter.
I couldn't stop myself from cracking up at that. Brad's face broke out into a grin himself as he threw Christian in a friendly headlock. "She kept that shit on the dinner table for days. She didn't let me touch it. We ate every meal those few days with a pornstar magazine right in the middle of us." Brad explained, full on laughing now. "Man, mum was a whole new breed of batshit fucking crazy."
I didn't understand how this could be, but I swore this was the first time I head Brad openly laugh. And He had a really nice laugh. It was wild seeing him like this.
Christian broke free of the headlock and ruffled up Brad's perfectly combed hair. "She was slightly sadistic, I swear." He replied to his brother with a grin.
I didn't get how the laughter in this room could be so contagious tonight. We probably all looked like fucking psychos cracking jokes at a time like this, but it felt good. It felt like, for a few minutes, everything wasn't completely fucked.
And I decided I was going to enjoy this little moment we had right here, before said shit truly did hit the fan.
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