Captivated (The Maze Runner - Newt)

Nineteen - newbie

If we take this bird in

with its broken leg,

we could nurse it

she said.

  - Ed Sheeran, Little bird

***

Lily trusted a lot of the boys in the Glade - Newt, more than anyone. But no amount of trust could bring her to tell anybody about her memory-dream last night. It still terrified her to think about it...about what she really was. 

So, like she did with most things nowadays, she shoved it to the back of her mind. 

Currently, she and Newt lay side by side, watching the dull grey dawn break over the Maze walls. Their interlocked fingers lay upon Newt's chest, rising and falling gently. It was yet another moment of absolute calm.

"Newt?" Lily whispered, gazing up at the miserable sky.

"Mmmh?" Newt murmured in reply, closing his tired eyes briefly.

"I'm starting proper training as a runner today...that means I'm going to be going back in the Maze. A lot. Every day, in fact."

A moment's silence passed between them. Newt heaved a long sigh, his eyelids remaining lightly closed.  "I know." he said simply.

Lily could tell that he was still angry, even though his voice and relaxed demeanour masked it. He despised the fact that Lily was to become a runner. And she was determined to find out why.

"I suppose I'm following in your footsteps." Lily said cautiously, "Alby said you used to be a runner...."

Newt became rigid for a second, his muscles tense and hunched.

"Yeah...I was." he said flatly, as if it made him uncomfortable to think about it.

Lily rolled over onto her side to face him properly, eager for more information. Talking to Newt on the subject of running was like talking to a brick wall.

"What was it like?" she pushed, never moving her gaze from his face.

Newt's eyes squeezed shut tighter. He swallowed, grimacing slightly as if there was a horrible aftertaste in his mouth. The silence lasted longer this time.

Eventually, Newt opened his saddened hazel eyes to look at her. 

"Awful." he whispered.

Lily squeezed his hand tightly, her expression pitiful.

"Please tell me. We can trust each other, remember?" she said softly. Guilt hit her as soon as the words were past her lips - was it right of her to ask this of Newt, when she was the one keeping secrets?

Newt scanned Lily's face helplessly, unable to find the words to voice his thoughts.

Lily brushed her thumb lightly over the back of his hand. "...What happened to you in there?"

Newt swallowed again, turning his gaze upwards towards the bleak clouds. When he spoke, it was as if all of the happiness in him had been sucked out like a vacuum. 

"The Maze...it breaks you." he said, his voice strained, "It's like running around inside your worst nightmare. And you never get out - not really. You come back at night, then just lay there, reliving every single moment again and again. I still dream about the Grievers...I can hear them too. Clicking. Whirring. Tormenting me. Sometimes I wake up, and for a split second, I think that I'm back in the Maze again. It's terrifying because...because I feel more trapped out there, than I ever did in the Glade. Runners run alone. Its every man for himself as soon as your past those doors."