Caged Byrd

Chapter 5 - First

It had been my first kiss. I wondered if he knew as I laid there, stiff in his arms. He had pulled me closer, tucking my head beneath his chin. I was fairly sure he was asleep now. His body had relaxed and his breathing was slow and deep. His warm breath against my hair made my scalp prickle.

I wanted to roll away. To slip out of his arms, find my clothing, and lock myself in the bathroom. But, I was scared he would wake up. I was angry my first kiss had been stolen from me and humiliated at being forced to strip and climb into his bed. And yet, I realized how lucky I was that more hadn't happened.

I could have woken in a cellar, cuffed to a bed with a sadist looming over me, ready to inflict the worst imaginable pain. But I hadn't. I had woken in a bed that was too soft, undamaged and untouched. I didn't know who was smiling down on me favorably, but I was grateful. Still, it didn't change my situation. The clock was ticking. As sane as Alex seemed, it was clear he had a plan for how he wanted things to go. If his kiss had been any indication, I didn't have very long before more of my firsts were gone.

Though I longed for the escape that sleep would bring, I couldn't relax with his arms around me. His heat smothered me. His bare skin against mine made me hyper-aware, as if every nerve ending was firing in synchronization. I could feel the individual hairs on my head move with each of his breaths. The minute movements of his skin against mine. His chest rising and falling.

I wasn't sure if minutes or hours had passed but, eventually, Alex rolled over, freeing me from his grasp. Though I was terrified I would accidentally wake him, I inched towards the edge of the bed. Carefully, I sat up, bracing myself and holding the sheet against my bare breasts. I knew it was too dark for him to see me, even if he was awake. But, it didn't change the feeling of vulnerability that came with cool air touching exposed skin. I cautiously lowered my feet to the floor.

My movements were slow, smooth. Nothing that would jolt the bed. I couldn't take the sheet with me. Not without waking Alex. My stomach quivered as I released the thin material. Standing ever so slowly, I felt my way around the bed, heading towards the basket near the door. It took some time to find it. I ended up crawling on the floor, worried I would trip over something. When I finally found the basket, I let out a harsh whisper. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!" There was a lock. On the basket.

I needed clothes. I refused to be naked and vulnerable when morning came.

I quietly fumbled my way back across the room. Every now and then, I paused to make sure I could still hear Alex's deep breathing. My hands and knees went from thick carpet to cold tile as I passed the door threshold. Standing, I quietly closed the door behind me.

For a moment, I debated whether or not turning on the bathroom light would wake Alex with the door closed. Finally, I flipped the switch, blinding myself momentarily. When my eyes came into focus, my reflection startled me. My hair, which was usually a warm, chocolate color looked muddy and was complete chaos. Finger combing wasn't exactly going to help in this case. I'd worry about that later though. My first priority was finding clothes.

I locked the bathroom door behind me. It wasn't much of a lock. It was the kind that could be opened with a coin, but it still eased my mind a bit. I'd already been through the bathroom and closet when I had originally returned to the room earlier in the evening. The most of the drawers were unlocked but didn't contain anything of use. At least, the clothes folded neatly behind glass windows hadn't seemed useful at the time.

Clothes. Not useful. How ridiculous. Goosebumps peppered my skin as I approached the cabinets. Frustration chased away my hope as I saw the keyhole below each handle. "Seriously?" I almost cried. Why the hell was he locking up the clothes? Was it some sort of game? To see how far he could push me? To see what I would just accept?