Kaya's crying wakes you up at 7 AM on the dot, and funnily enough it's when N'Jadaka comes stomping into the bedroom with last night's clothes. Technically he wasn't here when you woke up but technically he is, so you don't get mad; only bark at him to hand you a diaper.
He scoffs at your tone while you remind him what time it is and how hard it is to get sleep with a newborn. In fact, he should know it very well. During those few days you're sure the two of them bonded but you feel a sense of childish jealousy at the missed contact between you and your child. She's still so new and so small when you pick her up and you're terrified of her becoming a daddy's girl for no other reason than N'Jadaka didn't do all the work to get her here.
"So what was all that about?" you ask, nuzzling Kaya's face to yours. She isn't crying anymore.
N'Jadaka yanks his shirt off and tosses it into the hamper in the open closet before sighing in frustration and working on his sweatpants next. Going by his annoyed silence and the way he's acting like his clothes stole money from him makes you think he never actually planned on being gone so long. He hasn't gotten much sleep lately either, so you try not to be as mean as he flops down into bed so hard you and Kaya bounce a little.
You nudge him with your foot, asking again, "What happened?"
"Same shit that's been happenin'," he finally answers, eyes closed. "Always some lame niggas tryin' to do dumb shit at the Outreach Center and they always callin' me to fix it."
"What do you mean?" you ask. "Is that why you were being weird when you took me down there?"
"I mean, I get why T's corny ass put it there but it ain't like how it was when I was a kid."
He sounds very annoyed as he goes on about the state of the neighborhood, and how the Outreach Center does try to keep the youth occupied and on the "right" path but it's not that easy for everybody. Mainly all the ones with shit to prove and chips on their shoulders; ones that come with the territory of N'Jadaka being a known figure in the neighborhood now that he's no longer on the path of vengeance.
He doesn't actually put the last part into words but it's what you can gather from all the expletives and insults that start flying out his mouth. Some of his most vocal challengers think he's a punk for getting beaten by T'Challa and coming back as if nothing happened, and while N'Jadaka pretends not to care what they think you just know his murderous rage is begging for a relapse.
But actions have consequences, and you know for a fact that if he slips back into Killmonger mode he's going straight to prison for good; regardless of the fact that a lot of his kills were sanctioned by the military. Ugh. Factory explosion and disposal of your ex not counting.
Silence passes between the two of you, Kaya making gurgling noises in your ear and when you pull her away to look you see that she's awake and staring right at you. Her pacifier must be somewhere behind you but since she's being nosy again you don't try to look for it just yet.
"I swear she can understand people's conversations," you say, unbuttoning her pajamas to check on her diaper. You've been obsessively checking her umbilical cord stump, and you had to convince N'Jadaka for the longest that it's supposed to look like that and he'd better not touch it. You caught him reading one of your pregnancy books with an attitude later on.
Kaya doesn't smell as if she needs a sponge bath at the moment, so you change her wet diaper and leave the onesie off, wondering if holding her to your chest will irritate her stomach or not. N'Jadaka just watches you slowly pick her back up and just as slowly pull her to your chest as you stand up.
