His Safety Net

Chapter 26

       "I know," Jerome said softly, and I was amazed at how he was taking this. "I know."

       I wiped the tears away from my eyes and still tried to steady my breathing, but the latter part wasn't really working. I was pretty much up to the point where I was just going to let this panic attack happen instead of fighting it.

       Jerome sat down beside me on the bench since it was clear this panic attack wasn't going to pass anytime soon and I would feel a lot more comforted with him sitting beside me.

       "If it makes you feel better, I have an idea about who did this so they're not going to get away with it," Jerome said. I didn't reply. Not because it didn't make me feel even the slightest bit better that there was a chance whoever did it wouldn't get away with it, but because I was still struggling to breathe.

       "The timing pretty much gives it away," Jerome said.

       This time, I was able to talk, albeit only speaking one word. "T-timing?"

       Jerome sighed. "I went to a party on Friday. Anita must have completely forgotten about me turning her down and me telling her that I don't like her that way because she didn't seem mad at me anymore. And she tried to kiss me. And I couldn't take it anymore so I told her I was gay. She didn't seem happy."

       "W-why?"

       "Homophobia, probably," Jerome said. "I don't know if it was Anita herself who put that on my locker, though. I do know she told everyone in my friend group, because we all got into a huge argument about it in our group chat. Brandon and April were the only ones who defended me."

       "Th-that's... That's..."

       "It's okay. You don't have to say anything if you're struggling to talk."

       "I-I... h-home."

       "I'll take you home," Jerome said, standing up from the bench and helping me stand up as well. Thankfully, he knew what I meant when I just uttered two words. There was no way I was going to be able to handle being at school today.

       Jerome led me outside of the school and to his car in the parking lot. I didn't really say anything during the drive to my house. I just took that time to try to get my breathing back to normal, or at least make it a bit easier for me to breathe.

       I was feeling a tiny bit better by the time Jerome pulled into the parking lot by my house. "Are you going to be okay?" Jerome asked.

       "I should be the one asking that..." I said.

       "It's nothing I can't handle," Jerome said. "In fact, I can't wait to get revenge."

       "Jerome... Don't get in trouble..."

       "I won't," Jerome said. "I promise." He reached over and held my hand. "So are you going to be okay?" I nodded. Jerome leaned over and kissed my forehead. "Just text me if you need anything."

       "I will," I said quietly before getting out of the car.

       I immediately went inside my house, heading right to my bedroom. Once the door was closed, I slumped down onto the floor, pulling my knees up to my chest and resting my forehead on top of it. How could someone be so cruel to do that to Jerome? How could they think it was okay to oppress someone because of their sexuality?

       How could anyone who ever did something like that think it was okay?

       I could feel yet another panic attack happening, and no matter how hard I tried to control my breathing, I just couldn't. On top of that, a bunch of thoughts starting racing through my mind.

       Dark thoughts.

       Thoughts I haven't felt for a long, long time. But I wasn't scared when it came back because like the first time it came, I felt nothing positive. Only negative thoughts and feelings. Only pain.

       And I just wanted this pain to go away. I didn't know how much longer I could take feeling like this.

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nolan and jerome :( my poor babies.

i forgot to say this last chapter but HAPPY NEW YEAR! i can't believe it's the year 2020. it sounds so weird to say but i'm actually excited for this year!

anyway just as a heads up even though i posted it in the first part, the book is going to start dealing with a lot more sensitive topics and will probably be a bit more triggering than the chapters up to know, so please be prepared and again, please stop reading if it's too triggering. also message me if you feel like you need someone to talk to if you're struggling a lot <3