Smoke of Sighs

Chapter 3: Rowland & Gutierrez, 2017

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Hall."

His eyes meet mine and I swear I forget how to breathe. "Likewise."

I step further into the room so I'm not blocking the doorway.

"Actually, Layla," Dr. Zabina continues cheerily, "Dr. Hall is teaching a course this semester that might be of interest to your research project, if you still have room in your schedule."

Dr. Hall pauses a couple meters away from me, raises an eyebrow.

This artificially-lit, traditionally-decorated office is a little cramped for three people, in my opinion. "I'm actually already enrolled in Dr. Hall's Psych 471 class this semester."

"You're in for a treat, dear. Dr. Hall's PhD research has made him an expert in the subject."

My dirty, dirty mind. Damn, I hope I'm not blushing.

"I'm looking forward to the rest of the semester," I respond politely.

Professor Too-Young-And-Hot-To-Be-A-Professor sifts a hand through his unruly, thick dark hair that I can't help but imagine running my fingers through, too. Stop it, Layla.

I need to get laid.

Shouldn't be thinking about that right now.

"As am I."

And then he passes by me on his way out and he's gone and I feel oddly disappointed. I guess I'm curious about him.

Curiosity is a dangerous thing but it's what drives our research.

Research.

Maybe later I'll do some research about him.

I try to fish my head out of the gutter as Dr. Z and I discuss a timeline for my thesis. I try my best to ignore the little golden crumbs dotting his bristly, short-cropped beard that bobs around a little as he talks.

Right now I'm finishing up the lit review that I started over the summer, and then I'll be able to get working on the tests that we'll be using to collect data from our research participants.

Dr. Z is a developmental psychologist. My research project is about sexual identity formation in young adulthood. We'll be looking for correlations between sexual attitudes and sociocultural factors such as race, religion, ethnicity, and parental attitudes.

The idea is to get a better picture about which factors most directly affect a person's attitudes and experiences with sex, and how sexual identity formation is related to other aspects of identity development.

For example, if a person rejects their parent's political views, are they likely to reject their sexual attitudes as well, or is sexual development better related to peer influences than parental influences?

There are a lot of questions and not a lot of answers, and I have to narrow this entire field of inquiry down to something more manageable to investigate for an undergrad thesis.

I've always been a little too ambitious. I guess we'll see what happens.

***