Teenage Therapy

2019.

31/12/19

I don't really know how to say goodbye to this year, because it helped me so much. I won't say that 2019 was an easy year for me, but if I compare it to 2018 and 2017 than it was a lot easier.

2017 quickly became hell.
2018 was a blast at first, but turned into a nightmare.
In 2019 I began to heal.
And I don't know what 2020 has planned for me, but it will be alright.

You know, this year had a lot incoming for me. From the bad and good days, all the memories that were made to the confidence I've found and the new friends I've made.
It's crazy to think that it will be over in just a few hours and that there's a start of a new decade. I never thought that this year would come to an end this quickly. The pictures from last New Year's Eve are in my mind like it was just yesterday, but it was already 365 days ago.

Time went by pretty fast, didn't it?
And it kinda scares me.

But let's not focus on that, let's think about all the memories, people and things you've won and also lost. This is going be private, but it just feels right to share it with some people: here's my 2019.

January: turned 15.
February: spent a week in dresden with a few people of my grade. went to czechia with a good friend and had a blast being on the mountain with my board. cried over a boy.
March: my sister and I went to the shawn mendes concert in berlin. went to many parties. cried over a boy.
April: said goodbye to my sister for nearly three months. cooked with a good friend. cried because I didn't felt good in my body.
May: our grade went back to dresden for a day because of a subject. got my internship in a big bookstore. partied a lot with my closest friends. got over my last relationship and my ex.
June: went to buchenwald with our grade. summer started and I started to work out. my summer glow began to kick in. my internet friend visited me and got to know my closest friends. went on another school trip. school came to an end and we did a lot fun things in school. went to our city „festival" with my friends. accepted the fact that it should be like that with my ex.
July: another school trip. school finally ended and also ninth grade. worked out a lot. went to italy for three weeks and made a lot of memories. got freckles and started to get more self confident. got my sister back.

August: met a group of people on my last evening in italy. went back home which was horrible. worked out and visited my internet friend. also saw my other friends there and since then I got a lil crush on a boy. school started.
September: tried to get in contact with other boys, didn't work. made a lot of funny memories in school. met a hot guy with my good friend and started talking to him. spent much time with my good friend. nearly broke my ankle because I fell from the stairs and couldn't walk right for a few weeks.
October: went on a class trip. celebrated my friends birthday at oktoberfest and met a guy. hung out with my sister. went on my first date with the guy i met and slept at my friends afterwards. fall break came and I talked a lot to the guy I saw in september. my parents and I went to switzerland for three days. my good friend became my best friend.
November: had many sleepovers with my best friend. met up with the hot guy from september. school treated me like shit and my mental health went down. started to think about my ex again. started my internship for two weeks. worked out a lot and saw the first progress.
December: experienced something nobody should experience and only wanted to talk to him. went to a christmasmarket four times. my family reunited which made me extremely happy. worked out even more and became more self confident. christmas lasted two hours long and binge watched netflix. need to do a lot of school stuff.

It's a lot and not really detailed, but that's not what matters right now. I'm thankful for all the things I experienced — bad and good —, the memories, my people and my family reunion. The only thing I'm not thankful is, are the breakdowns school caused me this year.

I'm not ready to say goodbye and I know I probably will cry in a few hours when 2020 is here, but it's a new start for all of us. And we should appreciate and take it.

I hope y'all had a good year and even not, remember there's a reason why and it will help you to grow and to get stronger for the next years.

Don't take your chances for granted, because you're too scared.
Learn from your mistakes and make yourself a better version with them.
Do what you think is the best for you and don't listen to others.
Take your time to heal and make yourself a priority.
Enjoy every moment with your family and friends.
Make your wishes and dreams come true.
Find and love yourself.
Make it your year with all the highs and lows even if it's going to be hard, but you got this.

Happy New Year's Eve to all of you!