Falling ♡ Timothée Chalamet

19 - real

But her eyes are puffy and red and filled with so much sadness that she dismisses it all entirely. I don't let her speak, I don't wait for her to say something. I just pull her into my arms because I know she needs it and she gladly hugs me back, crying into my shoulder and squeezing me tight.

I rub her back to comfort her and as I hold her close to me I realize that after years of being friends with Noelle this was the first time we had done this. The first time one of us had truly been vulnerable.

Noelle never had issues, so she never cried about them to me in her whole existence. As for me, I kept my issues well hidden. But this time it seemed Noelle's world was crumbling down and I needed to know what was wrong.

So I pull away from her and I lead her slowly towards the bench where we both now take a seat. We face each other and her eyes convey a deep sadness and regret that only makes me feel worse for her. 'I'm sorry.' Is the first thing she says to me. 'I'm so sorry El.' She cries.

'It's okay.' I start to say but she shakes her head at me.

'No it's not. I- I won't let you avoid this like you've avoided every personal question I've ever asked you.' My eyebrows furrow at her as she speaks. 'I know what I've been doing this whole time, I'm not an idiot. But I am a fool for being so blind to all the pain I was causing you.'

I place my hand on Noelle's my eyes conveying the confusion I felt and the concern. 'What are you saying Noelle?' She looks away from me for a moment before catching my eye again.

'I'm saying I was a really bad friend.' Noelle admits, and even though I knew it was partially true I still couldn't let her take full blame for this. But as I open my mouth to talk she doesn't let me speak, she still continues. 'I knew something was wrong Ella. You were so distant, all the fucking time. When your mom died I just blamed it on that. You were mourning her. But it's been years and I knew I should have been a real friend and figured out what was truly hurting you. But for some reason I- I didn't do that.'

I can't help the question that escapes me. 'Why?' I ask her. 'Why didn't you though?' I say. 'All this time I thought you just believed all the lies and excuses I was giving you.'

Noelle frowns. 'I didn't believe them. But I just let them slide because I didn't know what it must have felt like for you.. to be be suffering in silence.. at least not until I experienced it myself.' Noelle sighs and her eyes fill with a fresh set of tears.

I'm curious, I want to ask her more questions but I push the questions I had to the side and I delve into a different matter, a more important matter. 'What happened to you Noelle? You can tell me anything you know that.'

Noelle nods. I see her fighting herself, deciding whether or not telling me was going to be a good idea. But it seems a side of her gave in because she started talking again. 'It all started with my parents. They've always been okay. They were never really in love with each other but they were peaceful. They learned to bare each other and that was fine with me.' I nod slowly and urge her to continue when she seems ready to hold back.

My small grin encourages her to go on with her story and she does. 'Around the time you and Timmy were hanging out they started having regular fights. My mom would say some really hurtful things to my father and he would say even worse things back. I'd leave the house sometimes but by the time I'd get back they'd still be at each other throats. There was no use escaping because they never stopped Ella. The fighting was constant.'