Falling ♡ Timothée Chalamet

10 - deadly

She's in love with you, you idiot.

I want to say. But I hold back because I know it isn't my place. Noelle tells me everything, even details of her life that I don't need to know. But she's never flat out told me how she feels about Sam. And I know that part of it is because she doesn't want it to be real.

Saying it out loud makes it hard to deny. So, she acts like the feelings she has for him are nonexistent in order to avoid heartbreak if he finds out. I sigh, and I watch Noelle glare at him.

'Can we just stop talking about stupid Halie Miller for one second. Let's talk about El, you haven't talked me all weekend, what's up.' I know she doesn't say it because she cares, she just says it because she wants to change the subject from Halie to me.

But I accept it nonetheless. 'I'm fine. Just been busy.' Been busy crying to a sweet boy about my problems, been busy facing my scary father all the time, been busy accepting my brother back into my life and been busy moving out with him into a new apartment.

I've just been busy.

'Yeah same. School work has just been such a load lately. Can't they cut us some slack.' Of course, now the subject is back to being about her. I don't even bother listening to them talk about school anymore. My mind is too chaotic right now to be focusing on such minuscule things.

I might be physically safe from any harm but mentally I'm still in defense mode. I'm still fearing the day when my father will show up to school, and pull me all the way home by my hair and punish me for ever leaving like that ever again.

I have a clear vision of it in my head. I can picture the humiliation I will feel when my father barges in through the front doors of the school, drunk and staggering and so angry as he is trying to find me. I can't imagine what people will say about me when they find out I have a father like him.

'Hey, can I steal her for a second.' I don't have to look over my shoulder to identify his voice. I know him by his musky scent, and by the gentleness of his voice.

He's always polite, always sweet. I can't help the smile that appears on my face as I say goodbye to my friends in an instant and let him pull me up to my feet and hand me my crutches.

We walk over to a corner of the cafeteria where no one can hear us. The room is filled with roaring teenagers but in my mind, it's just us. Just me and the curly haired boy who stares at me with so much fondness in his green eyes.

He lets out a deep breath that he's been holding for so long. 'So, how are you?' Of course he starts the conversation off by asking about me. I want to change the subject so it's about him but I know he'd find a way to turn it back on me so I just give in.

I smile. 'I'm great actually.' I admit and it wasn't a lie. I might not be in the healthiest state of mind, with stupid night mares and havoc taking over my thoughts. But I'm still better than I was before. And that says a lot.

'You are? That's good to hear. How did things go with Aaron?'

Once again he's showing lots of concern. There's no changing the subject with him. He wants to know how I am and I have no problem reassuring him. 'I forgave him.' I say and for a moment I see a glint in his eyes.

'Wow.' He starts. 'That fast? I'm glad you did, but it's just.. you seemed so angry before.'

I nod slowly. 'I was angry, but then we talked and things happened and now I'm living in an apartment with him.'

A beat of silence goes by and Timmy lets out a shocked gasp. 'You're what?!' His mouth falls open in utter shock and immediately he reaches out to touch me and he caresses my shoulder slightly before pulling away.