What He Needs

Chapter 38

"All bets are off the table when it comes to her," Macy gritted, but thankfully she stopped trying to get me to release her. That didn't stop her from threatening Amanda who still had yet to say anything. "Start talking, bitch, because the only reason you still have that pretty face of yours is because I don't want to hurt Winston."

I am flabbergasted.

"Why'd you do it?" Miranda questioned lowly, sounding absolutely devastated. It was only then that I realized I was no longer terrified of her presence. My heartstrings tugged painfully in my chest, feeling her projected sadness. "We needed you – I needed you – and you just left us! I want to hate you, but realizing that you're the reason I've stayed for so long just confirms that I don't."

"You weren't fighting for us!" Amanda finally got her voice as tears rushed down her face. "You didn't even try to get treatment for your cancer. You were ready to leave us even before I ultimately decided to. Were April and Alyssa not reason enough to stay and keep fighting?! Was I not enough?"

Silence.

The house was so tensely silent that you could hear a pin drop. I released my hold on Macy, thankful that she made no move to go after Amanda again. She too seemed stunned by her confession.

"Everyone is so fucking pissed at me for leaving; but did any of you consider that Miranda did the same fucking thing?! The only difference between us is that her method was more permanent! She could've gotten treatment! She could've fought for our family, but she didn't! I was so mad at you, so I took my things and vanished. I wasn't going to just sit around and watch the woman I loved die right before my eyes. I didn't want to remember you like that in your final years."

Someone say something...

"Everyone is speechless now, huh?" Amanda questioned with a roll of her eyes. "Figures."

"Mandy..."

"Save it, Marilyn. I'm so sorry for lying to you, love, but the truth was more painful to admit than anything else. I wasn't good enough."

"That's not true," Miranda finally spoke again. "You were more than enough!"

"Then why didn't you try to cure your cancer? Why were you so okay with dying and leaving everyone behind?!"

"I-I don't have an answer for you," Miranda sighed. "None that I would possibly accept if the roles were reversed."

"So, I was just supposed to be okay with you killing yourself?"

"No, but you could have at least been there for our family!"

"A family you were so easily ready to tear apart!"

Tense silence engulfed the Russell household once more.

As an outsider looking in, I didn't think that either of them was in the right. With how long Miranda survived after receiving her diagnosis, I was sure that there was a chance of her surviving her cancer. However, it was her decision to not accept treatment, and I suppose as her wife, it was Amanda's obligation to stick around. Didn't their vows say, "in sickness and in health"?

But what do I know?

I've only ever been in one relationship – two if we're counting Jonathan, and we weren't even married.

"It's weighed on my chest for years of how you could just up and leave us like that, only to find out that it was all my fault." Once the words left her lips, the light surrounding Miranda's figure began diminishing until she resembled a normal human being. She looked down at herself in shock, surprised at her own new appearance, before returning her saddened gaze to Amanda. "I guess I've completed my unfinished business. I'm so sorry, Amanda. I never meant to cause you so much pain."