Thinking Out Loud

Chapter Three

Taylor's P.O.V.

As I head into the photoshoot, I think over what I had blurted out to Ed. Did I want a relationship--or did I want a relationship with Ed? He had become such a close friend over the year or so I'd known him, and I was closer to him than I was to pretty much anyone else, besides my mom. I shook my head to myself as we headed into the room. It wasn't a good idea to start anything--and besides, who says he would even be interested? He's dated so many girls, and he was so good looking--it would be impossible for him to like me, with my huge thighs and frumpy look.

These negative thoughts were magnified as I examined the dresses I had to put on for the shoot. I scanned the rack nervously--I was pretty sure nothing was going to fit me, and Ed was here--he would see what a giant fat waste I was! I look a few steadying breathes, and called my mom over. After some consulting with her (and the stylist), we picked a few I thought would maybe fit all right.

To my suprise, they fit fine, even a little loose--what a relief! As I set up in front of the camera, I let my mind wander to Ed, who was standing off to the side, watching me with a smile. He was so sweet to come with me, he didn't have to. But he was there, early, just for moral support. You don't really get a better friend than that, do you? And you would be a fool to try and mess it up, Taylor, I told myself. I told myself to focus on posing, which is what I did.

Once the photos were done, I noticed the photographer was huddled with the editors, and after I while I walked over. "Is everything allright?" I asked. 'Wonderful Taylor, great," the photographer said smiling, but as I turned away, I heard the editor say, "I don't know, something just isn't right. She's too--" 

That's when I walked out of earshot. I didn't need to hear them tell me I was overweight. I knew it. I sighed and went to my dressing room to change. Ed was sitting there. He noticed how upset I looked. "Is everything all right?" He asked concerned. I nodded, unable to speak. "Taylor, you can talk to me. Just tell me what's bothering you," he said seriously. I sunk into the couch and hid my head. 

"Ed, will you be honest with me?" I asked trembling. "Always, love, you know that," he answered, coming to sit next to me. I took a deep breathe and looked him straight in the eyes. "Am I really too overweight? Like, am I fat? Did I look horrible in the pictures? Please just be honest, I need to know."