Brownie Points

"What are Brownie Points?"

There are certain chores around the house that you could definitely score some “BIG” brownie points with but like all things that are equal, we can lose them faster than we can collect them, consider the following. See, all things are not equal because we lose our brownie points at the speed of sound while we earn them slower than Snippy Snail and the Puppy Dog Tails! You take out the garbage without asking and you automatically collect 1 brownie point. (Well, what do you want, it's only garbage!) You take out the garbage after being told and you LOSE 5 points. (Like I said, you had to be asked?)

One thing you must alway, always remember and that is that you will lose your brownie point faster than you can collect them, they fly out of your account faster than Air Miles on steroids. There are only two differences between Air Miles and “Brownie Points”, one is “Brownie Points” don’t last as long in your account as Air Miles and “Brownie Points” don’t have an expiration date but don’t worry cause an expiration date is not a factor that we have to concentrate on, they will be long gone before any kind of expiration date. (rookies)

Also, seeing as how it's your wife who hands out the brownie points to you and you hand the brownie points to her, you know that she is going to collect the brownie points much faster than you will. Let's face it, it doesn't really take a lot to satisfy a man, whereas a woman on the other hand, you always see those poor saps in the mall following their wife, holding her purse and.........oh sorry, just kind of got carried away, where was I, oh yeah, she WILL collect them faster than you but she also WILL never need them, so how about giving you some of them points.

NO...NO, NO, NO!

No...Brownie Points are NON-TRANSFERABLE, I repeat, (for those of you that are a little hard of reading),...Brownie Points are NON-TRANSFERABLE. You cannot beg, borrow or steal them, you cannot buy them (although with some significant others...) you can not have someone GIVE them to you, you can only use the points that you have earned yourself. So as you can tell by your first introduction to the Brownie Points that they are indeed quite valuable and are to be cherished at all costs.

Another component of the brownie point is that this particular system is only valid within the confines of ones home, or approximate proximity of ones spouse, or girlfriend. It does not work with another persons spouse, or girlfriend, it usually only works with the person that you happen to be in a relationship with at the moment. It’s funny because all of you tough redneck guys out there are sitting back right now shaking your head going, "not me man, I'm the boss in my house, brownie points, smownie points!” You guy’s wife's must be out shopping at the moment. This is what we in the business call "Home Cahones", this is a guy who grows a pair when his wife closes the front door behind her, but as soon as she returns home, the Cahones shrink to little marbles. These guys are in denial and need the brownie points more than anybody else...rednecks.

So like I was saying, even all those guys out there that think they are not living in the world of brownie points, they are dead wrong and they better wake up and smell the brownies, if you'll pardon the pun, before its too late and they're so far into the Shit Pit of lost points that they'll never get out.

The Shit Pit of lost points is so named from personal experience and is explained later in this book and trust me, we've all heard the stories around the campfires late at night but let me go on record as to say that this one is real, I was there and I shiver when I think about it, standing in the shit pit, the top of my boots just a half inch above the.........well you get it, points everywhere, all used, no good for nothing, breathing is getting hard......wait a minute I'm not in the pit, phew, that was a close one, I almost lost control.

But like I was saying these denial guys are the ones that need my help the most, so it's these guys, including all the other guys too, that I would like to reach out to with this book, these guys that still deny that the brownie point system exists need my help to convert them before it's too late. It is my dream to help every guy out there that needs it and put them back on the road to brownie point freedom, a status of plus points instead of negative points, living back in the lap of luxury called Relationship Bliss!