My Love | Matt Daddario

Chapter 21 - "It is not worth it..."

Happy twenty first of December! How do you think the story will end? Let me know in the comments! Please make sure to vote and comment!
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As soon as I was home, I walked inside my apartment. As I sat down on the couch, I smiled. I thought about what I did. I just gave him a small soft kiss on his cheek where is sister was too.

As much as I thought about it how much more I actually started to regret it. What if he didn't like it at all? I sighed and shook my head.

Do not think negative. I kept on saying to myself but it was much easier to say than actually believe it. I looked down as I heard my phone vibrating. I confused looked up and saw that it was Matthew.

"Hey." I said when I picked up the call. It was as if I heard Matthew smile.

"Hey." He said back and my heart already warmed inside out.

"You forgot one of your books. You might need it tomorrow so can you open your door?" Matthew asked and my heart raced immediately.

I started to look around to see whether it was a mess at my apartment or not. Luckily, it was not that bad. To be honest, it was a bit too clean. I quickly walked towards the front door and opened the door.

I smiled when I saw the tall handsome man standing in front of my door. His hair was a bit messy and his lips were rosy as always. His eyes lightened up when he saw me and he smiled.

"Come inside." I said. It wasn't even a minute ago when I saw him but it already felt like I hadn't seen him in days. Matthew just smiled and nodded his head as he walked inside.

I noticed that he was looking around. There wasn't much to look around. I didn't had family pictures at all. I had some landscape pictures of Carmel and one picture of my mother.

My mother and I had one picture. It was taken an hour before she died and sadly, I don't even have it. I think my father does and he would never give it to me. He would rather torture me with the thought of my mother hating me.

"Is that your mother?" He asked and I nodded. It was weird to even talk about my mother with him. Just because I don't speak to anyone about her than just Rose or with myself.

"You look a lot like her." He said and I smiled softly. He was not the first one to say so. Everyone in Carmel said the same thing. It was just a shame that I didn't had a chance to get to know her.

"Everyone says that." I said with a smile as I was looking at my mother's picture. Matthew turned around and looked now at me.

"Is she coming over for Christmas?" He asked and it felt like someone had stabbed me right in the heart. I blinked a few times and shook my head slowly.

"My mother passed away when I was born." I said softly and I heard a small gasp escape from Matthew's mouth.

"I am so sorry, Hazel..." He said softly and I shook my head as I looked at him. I smiled.

"It is not your fault and thank you." I said. I never understood why everyone said sorry to someone who lost someone whom they loved. I mean it wasn't their fault and to be honest, sometimes I had no idea how to react to it as well.

"Your father?" He asked carefully as if he was scared that he was going to hurt me with his words. I shook my head and I could see Matthew opening his mouth slowly.

"My father is alive but he has never been much of a father." I said and I saw Matthew looking at me in confusion. He was still listening to what I was saying closely.

"He blamed me for my mother's death and wished that I would have died instead of her." I said softly and Matthew's eyes looked as if he was about to cry. His eyes looked full of rage and hurt.

"Hazel... I..." He said softly and I sighed. I wanted to shake my head again but then again I knew it wouldn't change much.

"My father made my life miserable and he made me believe like I was an abomination." I said and I felt my voice almost break. I didn't wanted to cry about it because it was already a long time ago. It wouldn't make sense.

"If I ever see your father..." I shook my head and let my finger rest on his lips.

"It is not worth it..." I said softly and Matthew sighed. He looked at me and some tears slipped away from my eyes.

"I can't make it right but all I can say is that you are far from an abomination and your father has lost a great person." Matthew said softly and I smiled softly.

Matthew pulled me into a hug and I let my head rest on his shoulder. It felt so right and warming. Now I wished I had told him before because I didn't think he would react like this. I was scared that if he would find out how messed up my father was that he would just walk away from me but he didn't.

Matthew was comforting me... which I didn't expect. Maybe Rose was right and Matthew too. Maybe I was worth it and maybe I could be happy for once and forget everything that has happened.

When I pulled out of the hug, Matthew was looking at me. We just stood there, staring at each other. I smiled and so did he. I saw him getting closer and my heart started to race.

His lips were just an inch away from mine and all I did was staring at it. I had never kissed someone and if this was my first kiss, I would want him to be my last kiss too.

His lips touched mine and I closed my eyes. His lips were soft and honestly, I felt like I wasn't breathing. We were kissing. He was kissing me. He actually kissed me. He was still kissing me.

When Matthew pulled out of the kiss, he smiled. He had a slight smirk around his lips and quickly gave me another kiss.

"I will see you tomorrow." He said and I nodded as he was leaving. My heart was still beating fast. I fucking kissed him.