F***in' Arizona

"I Know You Fuckin' Lyin'" (Chapter 23)

I guess Ari is moreso afraid of the unknown. He's heard his parents speak their thoughts on Lgbtq people and rights and it wasn't exactly the greatest. It wasn't terrible, but it also sounded like a fear of the unknown and ignorance. You can treat a stranger one way but when something happens like that within your own family, things change.

"This may be a stupid decision, but Ari, I'll help you."

"And I'm sure Maya hates me too and I know you'll tell her about this and she's gonna hate me even more..."

"Ari, I said I'll help you."

"Shit, Remi was pissed at me when I told him what I did."

"ARI, I SAID I'D HELP... Wait, what? You told Remi?!"

"You'll help me? Really!?"

"Arizona! Focus! You told Remi?"

"Uh, yeah. The same night. I called him through WhatsApp and told him what I did. He's my best friend. I didn't want him to discover from someone else that you were acting as my counterfeit girlfriend. I also wanted to ask him if it was ok that I was doing this."

"You asked him this after you told your parents? And who is he to approve like I need his permission? I'll help you if I want to!"

I love Remi, but what the fuck. You ain't my daddy.

"I didn't want it to be weird and awkward considering he was your boyfriend and I know you guys only broke up because he had to return home. You can't tell me there isn't still love between you two."

Hmph.

Yeah, there's still love between us, but I have gotten to the point now where it is only platonic love. I don't believe we'll get married someday, but I wouldn't be opposed to the idea. I'm just saying that I'm not holding my breath nor am I going to hold him back from finding love.

"I appreciate you wanting to run it past him. It's loyal and admirable of you. However, Remi and I are not together anymore and haven't been for a while. Yes, I still love him, but it's moreso on a friends with benefits whenever we encounter each other type of thing. We're thousands of miles from each other and I'm not going to hold him back from finding his potential wife. I am also an adult and don't need his approval to do things. Ok?"

If 'relief' was an aura, you would be able to see it radiating off of him right now. He wiped his forehead with the smooth back of his hand, visually showing his gratefulness.

The widest, goofiest, cutest grin spread across his sweet high school heart breaker heartthrob face, and he threw his arms up about to hug me before stopping himself short.

"I really want to hug you right now Nov, but I know we haven't been exactly friends in a while and I know you're not the biggest fan of affection," he says still smiling.

He's correct. I'm not the biggest fan of affection (underlying issues that we're not about to discuss), but when it comes to people I really care for, I will gladly snatch the affection. Even if it weirds me out.

"Come here you big lug," I tell him throwing my slim arms out towards him ready to embrace and take in his giant frame.

Ari puts that stupid cute grin back on his face and comes towards me to grip me tight.

It was the warmest embrace that I've received in a long time. Pretty certain he felt the same way.

What kind of tomfoolery have I gotten myself into?

"Girl, you agreed to do what?" Maya asked unimpressed.

I was facetiming my bestiest of bestest best friends and telling her about running into Ari. I told her the full story of what happened while she two-strand twisted her beautiful dark natural hair.

She was not enthralled with Ari showing up out of the blue and asking such a stupid favor of me.

"You're an idiot for accepting," she scolded me.

"Damn girl, lay it all out why don't ya."

"I'm just saying. This could totally ruin your relationship with his family when this thing goes south. Like, what is even the end goal with all of this? How long does he plan on the two of you keeping up this little charade? He's gonna what? Say ya'll broke up after a few weeks and then go back to his family STILL not knowing he's gay? There basically will have been no point to him having you do this. He'll be back at square one."

Dang, Maya was right. I probably should've put more thought into this before blindly accepting. I'll have to talk to Ari and ask him what his endgame is because it's not like I can keep going with this forever and the two of us get fake married.

"I don't know Maya. I'm assuming this was all in the moment when it happened to him and he panicked and just blurted something to get them to stop hounding him. I felt bad."

"Oh, so it was out of pity?"

"No. Yes. No. I mean I genuinely feel bad for him because he feels trapped, and he doesn't know what to do and he loves his family so much and is so terrified to lose them. It's not like one of those stories where the family is unaccepting one moment, and then they find out their son is gay and suddenly, they're planning a same-sex wedding. Neither of us knows what it's like to have their family completely reject them for something."

"You guys are expecting the worst to happen! What if the events don't even transpire that way?"

"You're right. But I'm also not going to give him false hope either. I want to help him to be realistic and prepare for the worst if the worst ends up happening. Ari needed to buy himself time until he's ready to tell them.
Until then, I'll help him buy time and come up with the least terrible, complicated, and painful plan that I can. He's hurting. You could practically feel the pain and trauma emanating from him. I couldn't stand seeing him in so much pain and stress."

"Yeah, well, what do you get out of this?"

I know she wasn't seriously asking, but it was something to think about.

"I hadn't really thought about it and I didn't think to ask him. I'll have to though. This is a big risk I'm taking after all."

"Yeah, exactly. I—" Maya didn't get a chance to finish her sentence after hearing a knock at the door.

"Was that the door? Who is at my house?" I ask jokingly.

"Your house? Girl, this my place too!" She says laughing, "Hang on, let me go see who it is."

"Are you expecting anyone?"

"Not really," I hear her shout in the distance.

Patiently and anxiously I wait for her to come back. With nothing but the ceiling to comfort and console me, my nerves grew.
Sometimes I hated leaving Maya at the house by herself while I was gone for extended amounts of time. It's not as safe out here in this world as it used to be. We're not still in the days of leaving a whole baby outside in a basket while your mother, Sarah Jane, went inside the drugstore to pick up a few grocery items and chat with Doc Baker the pharmacist.
Being home alone can be dangerous for a woman. Hell, for anyone.

"OH MY GOSH!" I hear her shriek.

"WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?! MAYA?"

Just then I hear a familiar male voice, but don't see a face to prove it is who it sounds like.

"Imma have to call you back Nova," Maya says rushing over to the phone excitedly.

"No, wait, who's there? WHO IS IN MY HOUSE AND WHY DOES HE SOUND FAMILIAR?!"

"Hey Nova!" The male voice yells in the direction of the phone, but I still can't see him due to me still staring (but now glaring) at the white popcorn ceiling.

"WHO IS THAT?! MAYA!"

"Girl, I said I was gonna call you back! Byyyeee!"

"Wait!"

Maya hangs up on me excitedly. I'm assuming she's got a dick appointment but doesn't want me to know who it is. Let me find out it's Karlos with a "K".

"That bitch," I say to myself rolling my eyes and hanging up the phone.