Paul and Dawn: First Light

Hidden Chapter: Chapter 49B

"Yes?" I felt his breath on my face and froze again, torn between staying like this and wanting to get as far away from him as possible so I could figure out if there was a way I could be around him and not react like this. 

"You're still on top of me," I blurted out, almost wincing as I said it.  

Without any hesitation, Paul hurriedly got off of me, being careful not to touch me more than he already had. "I'm sorry."  

Weird. Paul doesn't usually apologize, I thought foggily. I was too numb to really think about getting up since I was going through shock or something since he wasn't touching me anymore. "No worries." 

Paul offered his hand immediately. I focused on his skin, remembering what his hand felt like. Calloused, like he was, but smoother than I'd expect. 

I grabbed it and he hauled my dead weight up so that I was standing. 

"Are you sure you're all right?" Paul asked again, sounding formal this time. 

I faced away from him so I could try to wake up, readjusting my clothes and brushing off dirt as I tried to get my mind to start working again. "Yeah. Just a bit startled, I guess." 

I cringed internally. That was the truth, but I was startled for all the wrong reasons. I was startled by how much I wanted Paul to be close to me. I was startled by how I reacted to our bodies touching. I was startled by how a little voice inside me had been wanting him to close the distance between us. The little voice that every time, got louder and louder and louder until I'd started hearing it everywhere, no matter what I was doing.  

I wanted it to go away. I thought that by traveling again, things would go back to normal. But they weren't. The little voice just kept getting bigger.  

My Pokemon ran up to me, giving me worried looks. I tried not to be embarrassed as I realized they'd all been watching my reactions to Paul landing on top of me. I was so glad none of them would ever make fun of me for something like that. I glanced at Mamoswine who looked guilty. What in the world was that face for?  

"Oh, hi," I began nervously as they continued looking at me like I might have another broken wrist. "Yeah, I'm fine, guys. Don't worry. I'm not hurt. You can all go play a little before bedtime if you want. Just make sure you're back here in less than half an hour, ok?" 

Pachirisu squealed in delight and scurried into the trees, followed by my other Pokemon. Mamoswine hesitated, glancing nervously at Paul. I frowned, wondering why I wasn't the only one who felt nervous. 

When he'd left, Paul said quickly, "Dawn, that really was an accident and in no way did I mean to fall on you."  

"What happened anyway? I didn't see." 

Paul explained the whole thing, how he'd tried to climb onto Mamoswine's tusk but ended up losing his balance. 

...So Mamoswine had made him fall on me? I thought about it. At first, I was a bit relieved to know that it was only a clumsy moment that had made him get so close to me. I mean, I'd been pretty freaked out. Paul wasn't exactly the guy to tackle a girl and... yeah. So knowing he hadn't been intending to do anything to me was pretty good news. 

The second thing I felt was disappointment. He hadn't wanted to kiss me or anything. I mean, I didn't want anything else to happen, or really anything to happen, but at the same time I felt the disappointment and that little voice screaming how unhappy it was. It angered me. Why'd I have to be sad that nothing happened? Nothing was supposed to happen.  

Trying to calm down, I pictured Paul slowly making his way around my Pokemon, climbing onto Mamoswine's tusk, trying to keep his balance, and falling off.