Trailing by Stardust: Jjba x reader

10 - Finding Self

As you turned away from the door, you could hear Polnareff musing some horrid tune in the room beyond. You giggled softly to yourself. Something about his childish nature was quite endearing, and the muffling sounds of his voice helped you to feel a little less alone. Of course you would always have Supernova by your side if the solitude became too unbearable. However, the change in your daily dynamic was refreshing. Within just a few days, you felt like you were beginning to live again.

Taking two steps forwards, you were now in the center of a standard washroom. To your right was a simple mirror and sink combination, to the front was the toilet, and to you left was a curtained shower. Your eyes lingered in that direction for a moment.

How long has it been since I have taken a shower??? God, I don't think I want to know... I probably smell so bad to everyone, and I couldn't even realize because I've gotten so accustomed to my own filth... to this. You thought as you turned your gaze to your own reflection. I don't look any better from when we were on that boat.

You moved back over towards the shower and kneeled over to touch the faucet. Okay... a hot, HOT steamy shower... a long hot steamy shower... a very long hot steamy shower... with lots of soap. Your hand pulled the shower knob as far as it could go on the hot side. Satisfied, you stood up and turned away to allow the water a chance to heat up. This might burn for a bit... but I am gonna need the heat to get any semblance of this dirt off... Now that that's heating up, all I have to do is take these clothes off and jump in, right?

Your mind held some reservations, and you turned back to the mirror. You closed your eyes, and a shallow sigh escaped your lips. A gentle touch caressed your cheek, and you opened your eyes once more to be greeted by a familiar dark face. However, instead of her usual solemn expression, her face carried a soft smile as she ran her thumb across your cheekbone. With the next breath, your heart was calmed.

Supernova then moved behind you, placing her fingers under the hem of your ratty sweater. Instinctively, you raised your arms up, and she pulled the garment off like a mother undressing a toddler for bath time. You felt a chill at the unfamiliar feeling of a bare torso, but, more than that, you were surprised the shirt did not disintegrate from the handling. I definitely should not wear that again. You concluded watching Supernova haphazardly throw the piece into the waste bin.

As she came back to you, you looked into the mirror once again. Fuck, I look like death. You took a step towards the mirror and ran a hand across your protruding collar bones. Your eyes flashed down your torso to see how your sink had sunken in over your ribcage, leaving your stomach somewhat hollow. When was the last time I had a decent meal? You shook your head to halt the ensuing train of thought. Let's just hurry up and get clean. You pulled your pants down and off. As you glanced down you could see how protrusive your hip bones had become. Who the heck am I?

You risked another glance back into the mirror. After taking a weary step closer, you braced yourself over the sink. The gaunt of your face was more noticeable. The final tier completing your deathly visage. God, what am I? You raised a hand to line your sunken cheeks as you bent over further, scrutinizing your every feature. One by one, you noticed something more: the dull aging around your eyes, the way your brow naturally furrowed, and the curve of your lips. It all was a shrine... to her.

A sharp pain collapsed around your throat, and you turned away. As you stepped back, you felt something else, a growing heaviness in the pit of your stomach. It wasn't sadness. No. Not yet. Perhaps a twinge of regret, however, for all your lost time and maybe a bit of anger for what drove you to that state to begin with. Your gaze flashed to your side where Supernova stood or, rather, floated in stoic silence. What would've happened if I did not have her with me? I used to think she was a curse, but... how much worse off would I be without her? Would I even be alive?