RDR2: Faithless

26: The Cost of Betrayal

"We will," Sadie said, "Ann, Arthur, I'll go figure out how we're gonna do this. Meet me at Doyle's Tavern on Milyonne Avenue."

"Okay," I nodded as Arthur sighed in slight resignation, needing some time alone to think for the time being.

What a goddamn mess. I had no idea what we would do next. Dutch seemed to be going half crazy, he was definitely taking it hardest out of everyone.

"Ann, what happened on that island?" Mary-Beth came up to me, sitting next to me.

"Oh, nothing important," I forced a smile, "Don't worry about it. It was just Micah being Micah."

"We can all see the look in your eyes, even if you try to hide it with a smile," she said softly, "Something out there broke you, and you won't be able to fix yourself unless you get it off your chest."

"I guess..." I sighed, "I guess I just realised quite how sheltered I have been. How much Dutch has protected me. The boys all treat me as an equal, nothing much bad really happened to me until recently, they protect me and I them. Sure, I'm an outlaw, I'm the bad guy, but seeing these things happen and then them happening to you are very different. I realised what life is really like for women in this day and age, when men just see them as objects."

"Who..." Mary-Beth looked shocked.

"When we were on the island, a bunch of soldiers found us. The folk that helped us get off the island helped us escape there, but Javier and I... we didn't get away the first time," I took a deep breath, "Javier was tortured, but me... well, let's just say that they were happy to finally have a plaything."

"Oh my god," she looked disgusted, "I'm so sorry..."

"They held me down, ten of them were there," my voice was shaking, "They took turns. It went on for hours, I was broken by the time Dutch rescued me. And I realised how naive I really am, how little of this world I know."

"Oh, Ann..." Abigail came from behind, grabbing my hand tightly.

"I don't know how I can..." I said quietly, "It won't ever be forgotten by me. I've largely blocked out what they actually... did, but the marks on my body make sure I won't forget."

I rolled up my sleeves, displaying the large bruises and finger marks.

"Dutch van der Linde," Abigail yelled and he came quickly, he obviously thought something serious had happened.

"What is it?" he asked, looking concerned.

"How could you let her be caught?" She asked angrily, "Did you see what they did to her?"

"Abigail, it's not his fault," I said, "I made him go. If he'd stayed to help me, we would have both been caught and I still would have been in the same position, only this time I wouldn't have been saved."

"All the same," Abigail tried to argue but I stood up, pulling my sleeves down.

"I didn't confide in you in the first place, and I certainly wouldn't have if I'd known you would start on Dutch," I said, my voice growing stronger, "None of it was his fault. He's not the one who... The men who did it are dead, and I just have to live with the consequences. It's nobody alive's fault."

I marched past them, leaving them standing in silence. Dutch was the one who saved me, I couldn't stand there while Abigail tried to have a go at him, good as her intentions were.

"Ann, hold up," Dutch walked up to me, "Are you alright? It's been nonstop since we got back, I haven't had a real chance to check up on you."

"No," I gave him a small smile, "But nothing will change that fact. I don't know if I'll ever be okay again, but I will remain by you despite it. So don't worry about me."