Life On The Other Side Of The Wall

CHAPTER 3 - My Will To Survive ls Stronger

My day went smoothly and I was thankful that I did not run into the cops again. That would have been unpleasant.

It was around eight o'clock and l was heading home from buying a few, cheap, woman necessities. A girl still had to take care of herself as best as she could. I was walking by a few blocks on the walkway when I noticed a car tailing me.

What the hell,why are people always popping up on me at night!? l groaned as I watched the sleek,black SUV from the corner of my right eye. I could not really make out the people or person in the car or what they looked like because all the car windows were tinted.

Feeling surprisingly calm, too calm in fact, I made an unexpected sharp turn and immediately hid behind a large dumpster. l held my breath hoping they would not catch me. Subsequently to that, I noticed the dodgy vehicle slowly drive by.

Ah huh! Take that suckers!  l exclaimed in glee after noticing that the vehicle had driven off,leaving me unharmed.

My moment of merriment came to a halt when questions of why I was even being followed in the first place flooded my mind. l mean, what could've those people possibly wanted from me? l have nothing, no money, no jewellery and l am pretty sure it is clear from my appearance.

Sighing, I looked around ensuring that the car was gone and continued to make my way home. l can not believe I was even beginning to refer to the streets as my home.

"What has become of my life?" I asked myself. l did not know the answer to that question but I knew this place was not where I wanted to end up forever. I had to act fast. l don't know how but I was never going to allow myself to succumb to the streets, my will to survive is stronger.

"Hey there beautiful! " Devon greeted me with a bear hug.

"Hey Dev..." l responded with small smile, not mirroring his happiness.

"Is everything alright Cata? " Devon questioned me with concern written all over his face.

"Um, yeah, I guess." l was such a bad liar when it came to Devon.

You see, Devon had become like the older brother I never had. When the other homeless people refused to let me reside in their little corners, Devon came to my rescue. He offered to help me look for things to sleep on. At first, l was a bit hesitant, not because of his appearance but because of my lack of trust and comfort in men. I never had a father figure growing up and l was never surrounded by boys so when a guy approached me, I built up my walls even higher. From what l learnt at school and around the block back in Tijuana, the male species was not to be trusted.

"Spill the tea Miss!" Devon softly commanded bringing me back from my thoughts. He ushered me to my worn out, secondhand mattress. We sat down and got comfortable.

"Well?" Devon pressed. 

I knew I had to talk him. After all, he always had great advice.l repeat, he is like the older brother I never had. l wish l had an older brother, maybe he would have been able to protect me and my family and I would not have been forced to run for my life. Maybe things would be completely different, I would not be stuck in the streets wondering if l will ever see my family again.

"Hello!? Earth to Catalina!" Devon screamed in my ear.

"Ahhhh damn it Dev, sorry!" l apologised after realising I had gotten lost in my own thoughts again about the maybes, the what ifs and the could haves.
Sighing for what seemed like the thousandth time, l began to vent and tell Devon about the happenings of the day.

"You know Dev, I am really starting to feel like l am cursed. I mean why are all these bad things happening to me huh!? l lost my father when I was really young, l had to leave my home and my family behind, l am undocumented, I live on the streets and my whole future has been destroyed. l know l may sound like I'm throwing a pity party for myself right now but I have been through so much stuff that I do not even remember what it is like to be a teenager!"

I took Devon's silence and concentrated gaze on me as a sign to continue...

" Instead of being happy and thinking about stupid girl-stuff like boys and shoes, my mind is always filled with fear, anxiety, pain and worry. l worry about my family's safety and if l will ever be blessed with the opportunity to see them again and tell them how much I love them. l have to worry about what my next dinner will be or where I will have to take cover at night if it rains and my rags become soaked. I am constantly consumed with the fear and anxiety of wondering if the police will catch me and I will be deported. Pain fills my body all the time when I think about how my whole life has been destroyed. l might not ever get all the things most girls look forward to in life, I will never get too fall in love and be loved, I will never get my first kiss, I will die a virgin and I will never have kids. Even if I did, they might not even be able to meet any of their grandparents. My life is like a car with no brakes, l am in the driver's seat but I have no control of where the car goes and at what speed. Everything is fucked up!"

Devon does not say anything but simply continues to hold me and caress my back as I let go of all the thoughts that have been weighing me down for a long time.

Taking a deep breath,I continue.

 
"You would think damn that is a whole lot of problems but that is not all, when I was walking today coming from the convenience store, I saw a car following me. Like seriously!? I have enough going on but now I have to worry about an unknown vehicle that was surreptitiously observing me as l walked for who knows what! What do those scumbags want from me huh!?"
I asked Devon as I began sobbing in his chest.

Argh not these damn tears again! l mentally commented annoyed.

After a few minutes of me crying and Dev 's voice trying to soothe me, I began to calm down.

"You know lil' munchkin, there is not much I can tell you besides that life is never easy but you still gotta work your way through it. When the going gets tough on you, your best self–revolt should be self -preservation and resilience. Allow yourself to stumble,but never to fall.
If you live your life with this kind of attitude no matter how hard it is, you are bound to be able to take whatever life throws at you. lf life throws a sack of lemons your way, catch them and make lemonade. As cliché as it may sound, everything will be alright." Devon advised me.

"Wow thank you Dev, you are right, I got this. It is not too late for me to grab the bull by its horns. I appreciate having you in my life D, you always know how to make me feel better, muchas gracias Devvy!" l thanked Devon feeling a little better and more optimistic.

"Always mi princesa." Devon responded. I chuckled at his Spanish words,he was so cute.

With that said,my eyes felt heavy and I dozed off with Devon still holding me in his arms.

~

A/N

Yay,another chapter!
I honestly think I'm getting better and better at this yeah!? =)

Don't forget to hit that vote button for me and I am always happy to hear from you so comment!

-Maya