𝐖𝐑𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐖 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒

𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 - 𝐖𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰

'Step out, step out of the sun
If you keep getting burned
Step out, step out of the sun
Because you've learned, because you've learned'

I'm tired of being on the sidelines. What's the point of me staying here if they aren't even going to look in my direction.

'On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?'

The Cal's noticed that I hadn't been talking much in the videos, hadn't been out with the others when they were out. Noticed that i was never joining in. So why couldn't they?

'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
Waving through a window
I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear'

Its pathetic really. We're grown men. We shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be doing this, I should be talking to them about it. But i'm too scared to confront them.

'While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through a window, oh
Can anybody see, is anybody waving?'

So I'll stay watching on the sidelines. I'll stay quiet. I'll stay hidden. Until it kills me. But they wouldn't notice that would they? They wouldn't notice me gone, dead. They wouldn't even miss me.

'When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?'

Dear Josh, the supportive dad of the group. Supporting everyone but the youngest member. You used to help me though the tough times and the hate. Now i'm alone.

'When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?'

Dear Simon, the helpful member. I remember when you always tried to include me in everything. Always used to help me. Not so much any more.

'When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?'

Dear JJ, the funny talented member. You could do anything. Which increased your ego massively. You used to make me laugh so much, i looked up to you.

'When you're falling in a forest and there's nobody around
Do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?'

Dear Ethan, I was always there for you, like you were with me. I supported you and helped you when you were getting fitter, I helped you when you were so upset. Now where are you helping me when i'm upset?

'Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound?'

Dear Tobi, the kindest of the group. Everyone thought you were anyways. I never did anything to you. Where's that kindness now? Or are you only kind to everyone else?

'It's like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?'

And lastly, Dear Vikk, to be honest I didn't think you had it in you. You seemed too nice and too much of a coward to be able to do something like this. Turns out, once again, I was so wrong.

'On the outside, always looking in
Will I ever be more than I've always been?'

Dear Everyone,
So this is goodbye. Goodbye to the house. Goodbye to the memories. Goodbye to Sidemen.

'Cause I'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass
Waving through a window'

The Cal's offered me a room in their apartment. Which is really nice of them. I've forgotten how nice it is to actually be remembered, seen, heard. Acknowledged.

'I try to speak, but nobody can hear
So I wait around for an answer to appear'

I smashed all the photos around our house that had me in. Pretty sure you wouldn't care. And besides, it was fun. Destroying our memories. I settled into the apartment nicely, not once being forgotten. But.. I still can't forget you guys, the fun times we had. And the bad times. I can't forget that constant feeling of.. loneliness.

'While I'm watch, watch, watching people pass
Waving through a window, oh'

Tobi tried contacting me. Did you guys finally realise that I had left? Or had you finally built up the courage to say something? Either way, I answered. I replied. I read his message over and over. 'Im sorry, come back please. We all miss you we never meant for it to go this far.' Which is bullshit. You all want me back cause the views are dropping significantly. But I'm happy here.

'Can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me?'

The Cal's make me happy. Gib make me happy. Will make me happy. You all made me sad, make me sad. Depressed. Alone. The boy's all tell me to forget you, move on, ignore you. But its more difficult then you'd think.

'Is anybody waving?'

Apparently you all went your separate ways. Was it my fault? Vikk messaged me saying how you all felt incredibly guilty and kept arguing. I didn't reply. I only read it. I guess it is kinda my fault then... The Cal's say it's only your guys' faults, you were the ones who made me feel this way. And i guess they are kind of right?

'Waving'

I haven't heard anything from any of you in a while. But there's a part of me thats happy about that. My life's got better, everyone acknowledges me, sees me, talks to me. Includes me. They even come up to me first. I love it. Im happy. Im too happy. It shouldn't of gone like this.. we should be all together, The Sidemen, not our own separate channels once more.

'waving'

i keep smashing everything, anything that has any of you in. Its a great feeling. Breaking you all, like you broke me. It's a shame it isn't the same as what you did to me, but its the best i can do. And like always, my best is never enough.

'whoa-oh'

Everyone is worried. I've gone crazy. You all broke me. Its not fair. I panic when the attentions on me. I panic when someone compliments me. I panic when I annoy someone. I panic when someone touches me. I panic when someone looks me in the eyes. You broke me. Broke me. I used to love this when I first moved here but now its too much.

'whoa-oh'

This is goodbye. For real. My therapist says its best if I stop thinking, writing, talking about you. All of you. So im going to completely stop. It's been fun, it was fun. To be honest, I don't regret joining you guys. I had fun at the start, made some great friends. Family. And I can't thank you enough. I love you all. Goodbye, I love you.

~ Harry x