Call me Goose! (Call me Kevin fan fic)

Irish melody

It has been a month since the soup making team leader disappeared. Kevin, as a human, was drinking in a bar as an irish man would do. Telling the story of how he got hit by a car to the bartender.
"So, as if the movie wasn't bad enough. I got hit by a car"

The bartender just let out a slight "mmm hmmm" as he cleaned a mug of root beer

Kevin took another sip, placed the mug of beer down and continued "So, I met this god-like creature or perhaps he was actually a god?"
The bartender continued to wipe clean the mug of root beer as he listened to Kevin.
"He said his name was Jim Pickens. I made a Sim character based off of him. Anyway, he gave me the power of transforming into a goose!" Kevin showed his arm turn into a wing and back.
He continued the unfinished story of his adventure. It took almost two hours as he sipped beer. Sometimes he looked at the comedian on stage doing bad jokes. Kevin said everyone would laugh if he was the one on stage, and continued his story.

"...And that's why I need to find him! Do you know how that feels like?"

"Yeah" the bartender responded.

"I also watched this Marvel movie called Thor: Ragnarok"

"And?"

"More like... BORE: Ragnarok! Am I right?"

"You can say that again" The bartender finally finished cleaning the mug.

"Do you know the k-pop ballad Ring Of Fire by Johny Cash?"
Kevin started to sing drunk.

"Love is a burning thing"

At first he was singing quietly for the bartender then, he started to sing louder and everyone in the bar stopped their activities to look at and listen to Kevin.

"And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire"

He even got the bad comedian's attention. "You who's singing! Come up on stage!"

Kevin did not realize he got the attention of everybody until the bad comedian called him.

"No no, i'm a bad singer"

"I have never heard of such bamboozle. C'mon!" The bad comedian went down to pull Kevin to the stage, behind the microphone which was then held tightly by Kevin.

"Uhh..." the mic did a small ring sound.
Kevin cleared his throat.

"I fell into a burning ring of fire.
I went down down down and the flames went higher"

Everyone started to clap to the beat of Kevin. Though, they were all drunk.
"And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire, the ring of fire"

Things were going well until a man took off his shirt and yelled "FIRE!!" and hit another man with a chair. He counter-attacked with an upper-cut and soon, everyone rioted in the bar. Kevin, as drunk as he was, went down to join "I AM THE MOST IRISH MAN IN THIS BAR!" and landed a punch on a short asian man who got knocked out by it. Kevin picked the man up to use as a weapon against the rioting boys and girls. He loved to hit men, and women. He was not sexist. "Here comes the asian man!" He yelled each time he was about to knock someone down with his asian head.

"Hey, ever got beaten with an asian man before? Not BY an asian man, WITH an asian man!"
He knocked another guy down, dropped the asian man and picked up a whip that layed above a table.

"I whip my whip back and fourth
I whip my whip back and fourth!"

Hitting everybody with a whip.

By the end of the night, Kevin stood above a pile of knocked out drunk people, holding the whip with his right hand, and the asian man with his left. A bright heavenly light shined behind him as the wind blew his majestic hair.
"I told you I was irish!"

The wall blew up in smoke and Kevin saw a little silhouetto of two men. One was a fat man with weird ears, the other a normal silhouette of a man. But, underestimate the appearance not! The man walked up, he looked old, wore glasses, and had grey hair. It was Jim Pickens.

"You do know what a door is, right?" Kevin asked.

The other man, whose silhouette was fat and had weird eyes walked up after Jim. He actually did have weird eyes and was fat, but he had green skin.
"Noice ta meet ya! I'm Shrek!" He sounded like hollywood actor Mike Myers with a fake accent.

"Do you remember me, Kevo?" Jim asked as he smiled like a sim.

"How could I forget you?" Kevin answered