Call me Goose! (Call me Kevin fan fic)

Weakness

Kevin went off to find another village. But, because this is modern times, it was difficult. He travelled from beyond the tip of the mountains, crossed every road faster than any chicken could, he went through burning bridges and icey ridges. When he came, he came alone. "I should probably update my fans about my whereabouts. But I didn't bring my phone." He sat and thought like any smart boy. Kevin never finished school because he was too intelligent. After a few minutes of thinking, A lightbulb lit up and he stood greater
"That's it!" He said "I need to find a great computer and post on Twitter!" Kevin ventured fourth to the nearest city, except he had no idea which direction it was so he went off a random direction.

In the middle of a forest he found a ribbon laying on the ground. He picked it up with his beak and put it on with human hands. He was then a formal goose, not just any formal goose, but the most formal of any goose!

Little did he know a group of ten soup makers was waiting to ambush him. The leader yelled
"Get the formal goose. Do not let him loose!"

"Ha! You dare oppose me mortals?" Kevin said as he put on a fighting stance. "Behold! GOOSE KWANDO!" He jumped and roundhouse kicked the leader in the face with his goose legs in slow-motion.

"Oh, this is no ordinary goose. Attack him all at once!" one of the members said.

"HIYAAH! HOOO! HAAA!"

Kevin was knocking each person down. They were no match for him. Everything went well for Kevin. He counted the number of his victims. Nine! But, there were ten of them. Kevin, before he could think, got knocked down from behind by the tenth member.

He slowly woke up tied in a chair as a goose. He seemed to be inside a wooden cell with a big lamp shining down on him.
"Tell me, formal goose" The leader who was knocked down before showed his face as he sat down.

"Why did you come to this forest of the lost souls? Were you looking for something like this?" He pulled out a laptop.

Kevin asked the man without answering the recent question "In 2016 a man hit a handsome irish guy in his car. The victim was walking home after watching Batman v. Superman. I know it was on the news! Tell me, do you know who it was?"

"People get hit by cars everyday"

"I mean't the driver!" Kevin turned back into a human.

The leader looked shock. "You were the victim as seen on the news!"

"Exactly, now tell me who the driver was!"

The leader slammed his hands on the desk "Never!"

Kevin smirked "Oh, so you do know who it was! I guess I AM clever" He made the leader of the soup makers speechless. The leader stood up and placed a couldron with a soup spoon on the desk next to the laptop infront of Kevin.
Kevin's eyes widened in fear and worry. The leader lifted the spoon, Kevin saw that it was soup.

"NO! I HATE WET FOOD!"

The leader straight-up fed poor Kevin the soup. Kevin spit it out each time it went in his mouth. Spitting on the face of the leader of soup makers did not work. Poor Kevin screaming in agony. Nobody outside could care less about another person. The soup makers group leader laughed sadistically. This went on for about two hours until he turned back into a goose to honk and the door barged open. It was Animal Control. "ANIMAL ABUSE IS EXTREMELY PROHIBITED. HALT NOW OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!"

"YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" The group leader ejected his seat and blasted up through a now-opened hatch on the roof.

"Mr. Formal Goose, are you okay?" one of the workers slowly petted his head.

Kevin while catching his breathe answered "Yes, hooray". The workers untied him and he opened the laptop to tweet. "Amazing how there's internet here."

Animal Control left the place. One of them had a quick thought "A formal goose using a laptop. This place is too normal it's boring. I need some excitement and gear"

Kevin needed to find the soup makers group leader to find his answer and take revenge on the man who hit him with his car.