A warm feeling in my chest intensifies as I unfold the paper to discover the friendly faces of the ape and his faithful pet dog. I hope Brenna doesn't catch me grinning like an idiot.
The judge directs to Brenna with a surly tone. "What do you mean that you're done here?"
Brenna loudly stacks the folders on our table then stands abruptly, her chair screeching against the marble floor.
"Your Honor, I'd like to file a motion to dismiss."
"On what grounds?"
"I was told that my client was being sued for defamation." Brenna glares at Glerk and the team of Trollamex attorneys across the aisle. "Doesn't a finding of defamation require proof that the statement made by Mister Robiski is false and has caused harm?"
"Yes, it does, Ms. McSorley," the judge replies.
"I have not heard a single word about false statements during these proceedings."
"Me neither," I add. "I think the plaintiff should apologize for wasting the court's valuable time."
Glerk shoots to his feet. "Apologize?" He bares a mouthful of crooked teeth.
Brenna transfers a handful of files from the table into her shoulder bag. "Can I just say how unprofessional all of this is?"
The judge directs toward the plaintiff. "Mister Glerk? Can we expect evidence of defamation and damages or shall I grant the defendant's request to dismiss?"
Glerk blots his seeping eyes with his soiled handkerchief. "Your Honor, I was attempting to establish for the court the mindset of that deranged lunatic..."
"Okay, we're being mean," I reply.
The judge looks over her glasses. "Mister Glerk. One more outburst like that and this case is dismissed. Is that understood?"
He nods then drops into his chair like a marionette whose strings have just been snipped.
"Miss McSorley. Would you please proceed?"
At this pivot point, I can feel the momentum swinging.
"I suppose so, Your Honor." Brenna straightens her jacket and strides to the front of the courtroom.
"I call to the stand Philip Robiski."
I share a look with Megan as I rise from my chair. I refold the paper and slip it into my pocket then cross the floor to the witness stand. I feel the heat from the Trollamex team who glower at me in unison.
Brenna begins. "Mister Robiski, what was your statement? The alleged false and harmful statement?"
I point to the photo of me holding my handwritten sign.
"Trollamex poisons the world. It's a little over the top, but it's true."
The Trollamex attorneys grumble amongst themselves.
"And when you made that statement, you were angry."
"Yes, very angry. You heard testimony from my soon-to-be imprisoned ex-boss, Carl--"
"Mister Robiski." The judge admonishes me.
"Sorry, Your Honor."
Carl loosens his tie and opens the top button of his tight collar, revealing a red indentation ringing his dampish neck skin.
"Is there a Starbucks nearby?" he gasps.
"You haven't been dismissed, Mister Dunning," says the judge. "Please remain seated."
YOU ARE READING
Vital Signs
HumorPhil's wife, Megan, and his daughter, Jilly-bean, are the reasons he gets up bright and early every morning, puts on a suit and tie, and sits in rush hour traffic on his way to a job that has become unbearable. For years, the only way he's managed t...
