Vital Signs

Part 6

8:12 AM. Entering my office, I drop my usual bagged muffin onto my desk. I pace at the window, which overlooks the parking lot. When I hear Bernie's voice, I turn to find him leaning in the doorway, like an oversized yam in Dockers and matching polyester shirt and tie.

"I never expected to see you here today," he says. "You really screwed up that--"

I cut him off. "Did you hear about Utah being evacuated?"

"Utah the state?"

What other Utah is there?

"Just heard it on the news. All the residents of Utah have only a couple of days to evacuate."

"Sure it's not Montana?"

Wren sprints past my doorway. I grab the empty coffee mug from my desk and squeeze past Bernie. He follows me down the hall. 

"It's Utah," I say. "Isn't that unbelievable?" 

"I guess." He shrugs. "Whatever."

We pass Carl who grabs Bernie's arm. "Can I see you for a minute?"

"Yeah. Okay." Bernie follows Carl into his office.

Audra and Rhonda fill their mugs at the coffee station. Rhonda takes a sharp tone. "Way to handle the Trollamex meeting, Phil."

Audra shakes her head while adding creamer to her coffee.

"Did you guys hear about Utah being evacuated? How can they just kick all those people out of the state?"

"Guys?" Rhonda shoots me a ferocious look.

"Ladies. Sorry."

Rhonda responds, "I don't think that many people live in Utah. That's probably why they picked it."

Audra adds, "I heard it's mostly cactus, tumbleweeds and armadillos, right?"

"And a few Mormons," says Rhonda. "It's not like they're evacuating New York or any important state." She narrows her eyes at me. "Stop all the negativity, okay? What is it with people like you anyway?"

She leaves a trail of splashed coffee as she tromps out of the kitchenette. 

Bernie comes around the corner, his face crimson. 

"Well, how do you like that?! That bastard just let me go! Yeah. Happy freakin' new year! I'm fired! You're the one that goes batshit crazy on the client, and I'm the guy who gets canned!"

"Well,... maybe this is the push you needed. You've been talking about getting out of this dump for years."

Bernie glares at me. "That's fine coming from you, Phil! You have a job. You can pay your bills."

"Could be worse." I try to console him. "If you lived in Utah, you'd be getting evacuated."

"Screw Utah and screw you!" Bernie storms down the hallway.

                                                                               #######

As I sit across from Doctor Lindbrutten I notice that he is wearing the same argyle sweater. Thinking back on our time together, I'm pretty sure he's worn that same sweater 90 percent of our sessions. I was under the impression that therapists earn a pretty good salary. Maybe the doctor has a gambling problem or maybe he's got heavy alimony payments draining his assets. I try to imagine the woman who would marry this guy. 

He leads with, "So this situation at work made you angry?" 

"Yes, I was angry."

"You're still angry, even as you relate the story to me."