Chapter 18: They Made Me Feel Crazy

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I feel like I've disconnected from my stories a bit so I'd like to be able to interact with readers more! I miss reading comments a lot because I just haven't been receiving them. I'm going to try and include a few more questions in author's notes so I can talk to you guys a bit more. So how are you doing?

"The doctor said you were lucky." Lance murmured, refusing to meet eyes with Keith. He was sat beside Keith's bed and had hardly moved since Keith had been taken in (not that he would ever admit that). Keith's arm was in a sling, the area that the laser gun had burned covered in a thick, white cream.

"Yeah, I'm so lucky to have been shot at by an alien gun. It was a miracle-" Keith started to ramble, rolling his eyes so that it was obvious he was joking around.

Lance pouted, clenching his right hand into a weak fist and hitting Keith's good shoulder. "You know what I meant. The burn could have gotten infected or something but it didn't."

Keith raised his eyebrows and put on an exaggerated grin that Lance could tell was fake. "All of you were being badasses and defending yourselves whilst I passed out within minutes of the rebels showing up."

"Don't worry," Lance pat Keith's head as opposed to punching him that time. The gesture was so soft that both boys found it next to impossible not to dwell on the domesticity of it. Lance retracted his hand and shoved it back into his pocket so that they could both forget the touch had ever happened. "You're usually the badass so that was our turn. It's only fair that we get a chance to be in the spotlight for once."

Keith didn't meet Lance's eyes which made it clear that he had some sort of pent up feelings that he wasn't willing to share. Lance, being one of Keith's closest friends, could tell he was trying to hide something; potentially guilt or even fear. Before Lance could press on and ask him about it, Shiro walked into the room with two takeaway cups full of the Alkafan's equivalent of coffee. He sent Keith a quick, encouraging smile as he handed them to the pair. "I'm sure you both need caffeine." He laughed but neither of the boys reciprocated the sound.

"Thanks," Keith took a sip, unphased by the temperature of the beverage. It left a green foam on his top lip but neither Lance nor Shiro had the heart to tell him. Luckily, Keith wiped his mouth with his sleeve just a moment later. "Shiro, could you do me a favour and go and get Hunk and Pidge? I haven't seen them yet."

"Oh, of course."

As soon as Shiro was out of the room, Keith turned to Lance and met his gaze for what felt like the first time in a million years. Keith meeting Lance's gaze could have been a national holiday with how rare it seemed to occur. "Are you okay?" He asked, voice soft and full of a weird amount of concern for Keith. It seemed so uncharacteristic of the red paladin as it heavily contrasted the impulsive, hot-headed man he was known to be. At that moment, he seemed like he cared about Lance.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Do..." Keith let out a sigh. It was clear he was composing himself for a big question which left Lance wondering what could possibly have been so difficult for Keith to say. "Do you hate me for what I did?"

Silence lapsed throughout the room as Lance debated what to say. It was clear that Keith was talking about Henry Griffin but was terrified to use the man's name with the heavy weights that always came in conjunction with it. He stared down at his shoes and fiddled with his hands as a way of keeping his mind preoccupied. Shifting his weight from one foot to another, he mumbled, "No, I get it."

"Do you?"

Lance nodded but, still, he didn't look up. "He hurt your friend; you were angry."

"Yeah... I get," Another sigh. "I get nightmares about it."

Knowing how difficult Keith found it to open up, Lance shifted so he was able to prop himself against the edge of the bed. He held out his hand to balance it on Keith's arm, forcing a sympathetic smile for his friend's sake. "I'm sure you do. If I can do anything to help-"

Keith shook his head. "I deserve it," Confused as to what he was referring to, Lance flickered his gaze up and raised his eyebrows. "The pain; the- the guilt."

"You don't deserve-"

"How have you been since you left Earth again? I'm sure you miss your family." Upon being interrupted, Lance realised Keith really didn't want to talk about it. He made a mental note to reassure Keith at a later date so he could go along with Keith's question at that moment.

"I do," Lance glanced down at his nails that were still covered in chipped, faded blue nail varnish. He had been trying his hardest not to rub it off since he had been in space because it was all he had left of Carlos and Maria. "But they didn't trust me at all. They all thought I was insane and had made up everything about Voltron."

"Yeah... I'm sorry. That must be really difficult."

Lance shrugged, blinking away tears. "There isn't anything you could do about it."

Keith had never been the best at comforting people so raised his good arm to scratch at the back of his neck. When he next spoke, his voice was much quieter and laced with uncertainty. "I could tell you were sad when I saw you." Lance's head jerked up and he thinned his eyes, puzzled.

"You... what..?"

"I came to visit you a few times," Keith said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "To check on you. Don't you remember?"

"You did? I didn't dream that?"

"Technically, I guess you did. Pidge was able to make something using quintessence and the red lion's consciousness that allowed me to find you in your dreams. It was really complicated so I zoned out when she tried to explain it to me."

Lance let out a harsh laugh that shook his entire body like an earthquake. "I didn't imagine it then. My family made me feel like I was crazy."

"I'm sorry... I just had to check on you and make sure you were okay."

"Aw," A teasing smile tugged at Lance's lips. "Do you care about me, mullet?"

"Of course I don't!" Keith practically yelled, though his cheeks flushed, saying otherwise.

-

"And this is the living space." Hunk grinned as he pointed towards a large room that had a clear theme to it. There were five bean bags together in a group, each with cute lion faces drawn on the front and lion ears coming out of the top. There was a large flat screen TV hung up on the wall with Pidge's gaming devices beneath it and piles of different games alongside it. The collection had grown significantly since Lance had last seen it. There was a bookcase against the wall but it had a series of different board games stacked in it as opposed to books, including one with Monsters and Mana scrawled across it in a medieval, cursive font. A multi-coloured checkered carpet covered most of the floor, though half of it was hidden by a small coffee table.

"Wow this is really cool," was Lance's initial reaction upon walking into the room. His shoes seemed to sink into the carpet whilst his hands felt the different fabrics of the pillows spread across the sofa. "Allura would have loved it."

"She would have."

Right in the middle of the back wall, on top of all the sofas was a framed photo. The photo wasn't something random but something they all held very close to their hearts. It was a group selfie of team Voltron, including Allura who looked happier than ever. Lance raised his hand to his heart and wished that she had experienced all the happiness she had deserved within her last moments.

Letting out a soft sigh, Lance lowered his head to glance at his feet. "I miss her." Hunk wrapped his arms around his friend and pulled him into a hug.

"We all do..." He whispered, just as Lance let out a soft sob into his chest.

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