The God and The Youth [IdentityV JosCarl]

If only

"Good afternoon Els! Looking for 'Sop?" A bubbly girl appeared before him carrying flowers. "Indeed I am Emma, here to deliver flowers or—" "I'm here to participate! Papa wants me to have more.. experiences." She says as she flares her fingers. "I suppose he's right though— oh! And Sop is probably around the back. He can't walk kuch apparently. I wonder what happened?" Emma mutters to herself.

Eli bashfully scratched the back of his neck, "Ah,, about that, Sop told me he's been having back pains." "Is that so?" Emma piped up, looking at him with twinkling eyes. "Give Sop some ginger! I could give you if you'd like." "You don't need to, we can buy some." "I insist! I'll have some delivered to your home soon just wait!" And with that Emma stormed off. "But you're suppose to be here.." Eli couldn't help but mutter.

Still he walked off and looked for his lover. He walked absentmindedly. Everything felt odd to him. Everything felt way too perfect. Eli couldn't help but notice that he almost seemed detached feom his body, but maybe that was just him being wistful.

Around the back of the of the theatre was just nature, but it is one of Aesop's go to places. The flora around the borders led to floral field that was mostly obscure enough so only a few had seen it. Eli remembered the first time he and Aesop had found it. When they were children, Aesop had already been part of the theatre then.

"I notice you always get the feminine roles." A 16 year old Eli comments. He watches as a young 15 year old Aesop flits through the woods wearing a long cream garment. Planning had been done for the day leaving The cast to their own devices. Eli had gone to accompany Aesop when he heard news of his friend's new role. "I know right? I'm not even suited for it but it's always me" He argues as he continues to swipe away at the fluffy grass beneath his feet. "But you look pretty 'Sop. I think they made the right choice." Eli smiles at the red flowers that bloomed over the younger's cheek. "W-well I don't mind playing that role.. the clothes are.. flowy." Aesop visibly deflated with each word.

"Well, you've always liked long garments but anything flowy unintentionally captures your eye— don't deny I saw you snatching my cape once." Eli grinned as Aesop looked at him in disbelief. "I did not! I w-was just feeling it is all—" before he could finish his sentence, Aesop had stumbled forward.

And that's how he found it, a mere accident that lead him to one of the most beautiful places he's ever seen. When they were children, the flowers would reach up to their knees, however as time went by the flowers became overgrown and reached up to nearly the upper thigh.

The flowers weren't like roses or sunflowers, quite the opposite in size. They were small pastel buds that bloomed so delicately around the summers. The more dominant of them being yellow.

Eli looked around but saw no grey floof among them. But before he could look further he was tackled from behind by a very light figure. "Ow!" Eli looked behind him to see Aesop a top him, carressing his back. "Karma" He chuckled at the sore boy. He rubs back in a circular motion to comfort him. "Don't act like it's not your fault." Aesop said, but there was no bite to his statement.

They stayed that way for awhile. Aesop got comfortable laying a top Eli, shifting his weight to be more comfortable. As much as Eli liked it when he did, he was just a man and even he has limits. "Don't you wanna sit up 'Sop? It's gonna get itchy at some point." Well, he wasn't lying, there were in a position where the flowers dominated above them afterall. "Nope!, I'm fine." Aesop replied, as he flooped around. "Completely fine."

Eli was about to protest, but seeing the small pout on his lover's lips made him resign to his fate. He sighed but had a thought.

Just when Aesop though Eli had given up. He was pulled into a tight hug. "Wo-woah wait!" He squirmed around as strong arms managed to pull him close to the other's chest very tight. "Nah uh, I let you lie on me for a long while. Now gimme a hug!" Despite not seeing Eli's face, his chest was quite nice—, he could hear the smile in his voice.

"Fine." A muffled reply came from the youth. Time slipped by so fast. Being in that place felt timeless especially when they were together. Hunger forgotten, rehearsal forgotten, the world was forgotten, because in all honesty it didn't matter. Not when they could feel each beat of their hearts. Ever breath they released. Every moment they spent together was priceless.

It felt too perfect.

"Thank you." Eli looked down to see Aesop's grey eyes look at him serenely. "For what?" Eli asked, loosing himself in grey pools. The youth sat up, but still sat by his thigh, he followed suit. "For everything, for waiting for me. For never giving up." The youth buried his face into Eli's neck. "Please don't leave me." He pleaded, his grip tightened with each syllable.

Eli looked at him with worried eyes, "why would you think that? I would never leave you not when I have you. What more can the world give but you?" But the youth only looked at him in despair.

"A world without me."

It was a cold morning that day. Eli woke up with an ache in his back and tears running down his face. 'Why am I crying?' He thought as he looked down at his hands. His warm hands tried to console the hollow cold in his chest but to no avail. He couldn't explain why he would feel this way. Today was the only day he'd ever woken up from a nightmare he could recall, detail to detail.

Then again, his life is turning into a nightmare. Despite the fact he couldn't remember. Perhaps not remembering makes it much worst. What kind of dream would leave him feeling so hopeless? It's as if he's grieving for a spouse he's never had. What dream would make him grieve more so than what he usually had?

Eli sighed somberly. The outside revealed a cloudy blue sky, dark blue, as if the sun hadn't risen yet. Although, he knew he woke up at the right time, or maybe late even. The beds that surrounded him were empty with strewn sheets. He found himself resisting the growl of his stomach. Though hunger nicked through his belly, he remained still.

He did not have the energy to stand and see that scene for another day more. It hurt all the more knowing it could have been different had he approached the problem a different way. He grimaced knowing he'd already lost the person he vied for.  

But

If he can't have that person, then maybe, just maybe. He can make sure no one can—

He violently shook his head, slapping his hands to his cheeks. "How could I think that?" His voice trembled a little. His throat felt parched and tight as if there were a rubber band stretched to the brim by the deepest expanse of his esophagus. Was he turning into a monster? He felt like one, perhaps this was what Poseidon wished for him. What a cruel God, but he couldn't put the blame on him alone; after all it takes two to form a deal.

He could hear his silent spiral into madness as his thoughts quickly warp into a Toxic mess. There really was no way out this time.

He can't risk it any longer. If only he was strong enough to do what he must.

rAIne notes
Hi, it's been awhile. A long long while. The practices that held me up are finally over, and they weren't for naught, we won the championship for the musicale.

I might return into a normal writing speed but still definitely slow. I'm practicing watercolor too after all. Eli's definitely suffering the most in this one. Moral and emotion wise. Thank you for reading my dears.