Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Elf-dorian Justice

Act IV

Jake's jaw drops.

JAKE: No way.

TERRY: Jake -

JAKE: That one liner made sense!

TERRY: Jake -

JAKE: And it was a line from The Wire! WHO ARE YOU!?

HOLT: I'm H.H. Holmes.

TERRY: JAKE! Get rope! We need to tie them up.

JAKE: Oh yeah! The whole meth thing. Sorry.

Embarrassed, Jake grabs rope off the wall.

INT. BOYLE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT.

There's a knock at the door. Boyle opens it and sees Gina, Rosa and Amy.

Rosa slams a sealed tub of soup into Boyle's hands.

BOYLE: Is this what I think it is?

GINA: (deadpan) Yup. It's disgusting.

BOYLE: Thank you. All of you: two detectives, three friends, and one former lover.

GINA: Stop saying that!

BOYLE: So where was the Witch Doctor?

AMY: In jail for triple homicide.

BOYLE: WHAT?!

GINA: It seemed like we were out of luck, but Amy realized the Witch Doctor committed the murders while making soup, so the recipe was in evidence. Rosa found the animal parts, Amy did the cooking, and I came with them to take credit.

BOYLE: Thank you Gina!

AMY: We got you the recipe too, so you can make the soup for Nikolaj next time.

Boyle is shaking with joy.

BOYLE: THANK YOU!

He pulls all three of them into a hug.

GINA: Ugh, gotta go. Another day saved, another Gina thanked. Goodbye!

Gina extraicates herself, turns and walks out.

ROSA: I don't want to follow her. It makes it feel like she's in charge.

BOYLE: You could always stay for soup?

ROSA: (grossed out) Nope, I'm good to go.

AMY: (embarrassed) Me too!

They run out the front after Gina. Boyle sniffs the soup.

BOYLE: The hoof is so fresh!

INT. MCCOY'S BAR - NIGHT.

Jake, Terry and Holt sit at McCoy's Bar in street clothes. Each of them has a drink in hand.

HOLT: I completed my second journey into the dark side of the human soul. I don't think I can survive a third.

TERRY: Terry didn't have fun either.

(he brightens)

TERRY: But I got a text from Sharon and the girls got an "A" on their math test!

JAKE: Captain Holt, you realize at the end you quoted the Wire?

HOLT: I don't know what you're talking about.

JAKE: Come on, just admit it.

HOLT: I legitimately have no idea what you're talking about.

JAKE: This is a nightmare!

Jake storms off. Once he's clear, Holt turns to Terry.

HOLT: I believe our work-lives will vastly improve when Boyle returns.

TERRY: Yeah, he really seems to level Jake out. But we only need to get through one more night without him. What could possibly go wrong?

JAKE (O.S.): Oh my God!

Jake pops up from behind the bar with a massive bow and arrow. He nocks an arrow and draws the bow back.

JAKE: Look what I found! Hansel Gruber lives!

Jake lets an arrow fly by accident that smashes a tray of stacked glasses in the corner. Jake, Terry and Holt look on in horror. A moment passes. Suddenly Jake sprints for the door.

TERRY: Jake! Get back here!

JAKE: Hansel Gruber doesn't pay damages!

Jake escapes out the door. Another beat. Terry looks to Holt.

TERRY: Neither does Superion.

Terry runs out as well. Holt thinks to himself.

HOLT: No Raymond, you're not H.H. Holmes.

Holt unconsciously spins H.H. Holmes gold pocketwatch. Horror music plays 

ROLLS CREDITS