byler stories :)

there's love behind those zero phone calls (pt 3)

2 months later in El's room, at around 2 pm

    Mike and El were sitting on El's bed, with the door open 3 inches(It was always that way, in remembrance of Hopper). They were sitting close, but not too close. They had been talking about everything, and how things have been since she moved away. Will was in the other room, and secretly, Mike was avoiding Will, out of fear of both his feelings and how he'd probably embarrass himself because of his feelings.

"We should talk" El suddenly announced.

    "About what?" Mike questioned, feeling like he knew where this was going. He knew enough about life to know that this was the cliche way that most break ups started.

    "Us" El clarified. His suspicions were confirmed then.

He didn't feel anything like he should- no sadness, no anger. Just acceptance, in a way. It wasn't like he was thrilled that this conversation might end in a depart to a relationship that used to be so important to him. But "used to" was the keyword- he just didn't feel that way anymore.

Over the past few months, he tried to convince himself that everything could get better if he just tried. So he tried. He flirted with El constantly, but doing so felt awkward to him and she didn't really have any special reaction. It was like romance was just not a part of their romantic relationship. To top it all off, they barely even said "I love you" anymore.

His last resort was seeing her again. He knew if he saw her again, the feelings between them would rekindle, and disregard his feelings for Will. But, as seen by this morning, that wasn't the case. He took one look at Will when he walked through the door and felt his heart flutter immediately. So, instead of looking at him further, he took El's hand and looked at her instead. But there wasn't anything there. There wasn't as intense a feeling as when he saw Will.

He felt more confused than ever, actually, if that was even possible.

    "Oh, ok" Mike answered, feeling lost in his thoughts.

    "I like you. But I think..." El started to explain and then sighed. Mike could notice it was hard for her to put into words what she was trying to say. She hadn't really broken up with anyone before, except for that one time at the mall, but this wasn't the same. That was a spur of the moment decision, this was clearly something she was thinking about for a while. She looked into Mike's eyes and revealed, "I think it's not the same as before."

"Yeah, I...I think so too" Mike agreed, surprised she thought the same thing.

El took a breath and blurted out, "I think we should break up."

"Okay" Mike answered, calmly, feeling a sense of relief that he knew was weird to feel, considering that the normal reaction would be to be upset. Why wasn't he having a normal reaction? Why wasn't he upset?

    "You're not upset?" El puzzled, repeating Mike's thoughts. Mike knew why, he just didn't want to say why. He didn't want to admit that he still thought of Will and the feelings never faded like he thought they did. He didn't want to admit that he probably felt relief because now, there was a chance for him and Will. These thoughts were selfish and he knew it, but they kept finding their way to the front of his mind.

    "Well, we're still friends, right?" Mike still wanted to make sure. Though he wasn't in a relationship with El, he still wanted a friendship with her.

    "Yeah," El confirmed.

    "Then, it's fine" Mike smiled, taking her hand briefly before letting it go again.

    There were a few moments of awkward silence, and just as Mike was about to say something to lighten the mood, El turned to him.

    "You didn't want to be in a relationship anymore" El realized.

    "What?" Mike blurted. El was perceptive, but how would she know that? He didn't even know that. Well, he did, but not entirely. His brain was a mixed up jumbled mess lately.

    "I can tell. You're not... freaking out like you were before" El explained. Well, yeah, she's right. But it's complicated.

    "I just... don't know how I feel" Mike revealed, trying to laugh it off like it was nothing.

    "That's okay. You'll figure it out. And you can talk to me, y'know. We're friends" El confirmed. Mike noted the sincerity in her voice. He couldn't talk to her about his exact problems, that would be too weird. But still, he wanted to make sure that everything could still be okay between them, if he did.... have feelings for Will.

    "What would you think if I... started to like someone else?" Mike proposed.

    "Do you?" El inquired, curiosity in her voice.

    "No! No I just..." Mike trailed off, not even knowing if he was lying or not.

    "It would be fine with me." El shrugged, then smiled, "Don't worry, Mike."

    Feeling relieved at her answer, he let a breath out. Their eyes met and their smiles grew. He knew it was kind of mean to say this, but he was almost a freeing feeling. Almost. He didn't exactly tell the truth in that moment, but something in her eyes told him she kind of already knew what was going on. She was smart like that.

    "You're the best, El" Mike complimented, and he really meant it.