byler stories :)

gay thoughts and a love letter (pt 1)

A/N this is the multichapter byler fanfic ive written !! it has 5 chapters and if i can remember im gonna post a chapter each day :) anyway thx for reading!!!!!

It had been 6 months since Will moved away. Despite how much time he had to adjust, it was still hard for him to leave all his friends behind. Sure, he had made some new friends, but it wasn't the same. How would it be the same? He hadn't known them for nearly as long as he'd known the others. He missed his real friends. He missed Hawkins.

He especially missed Mike.

On the day of their fight, Will admitted a lot to himself.

Firstly, he was gay. That struck him when Mike said, "It's not my fault you don't like girls". It was a personal struggle that he had, but hearing someone else notice it, made everything real. He knew he was attracted to boys since a young age, but he always hoped it was a phase. Maybe he'd grow out of it once he found the perfect girl for him. But he already found the perfect person for him, and it wasn't a girl.

His second realization that night had been that the perfect person for him was probably Mike. This crush on Mike he had was always hidden. So much so, that he got used to ignoring it. He shunned it away from himself, afraid of his feelings. But it was always there, probably since 5th grade.

Now that he accepted it to himself, he replayed all those moments they had together and realized how much he was...I don't know? In love? Could you even call this love if you weren't dating? Whatever it was, it was getting harder to hide.

Instead of just shutting down his feelings, he embraced them. This lead to everything he felt feeling like it was amplified times 10. He used to just occasionally think of Mike romantically, before shutting it down, but now he had started to have dreams about them going on dates. He used to smile when he heard Mike's name but now his heart skipped a beat and he blushed at the thought of him. It was getting more and more noticeable, and he was afraid of someone finding out. Not just that he liked Mike, but that he was gay in general. People treated gay like it was a bad word, he knew this from expereince. Mostly, he was afraid of his secret falling into the wrong hands, and for the bullying to become relentless.

He thought if he took matters into his own hands and told someone, rather than it coming out in a worse way, it would be better.

Though it was scary, he needed to tell someone. He would feel so much better if he did. Of course, he wasn't going to lead with the fact that had a crush on Mike. He probably wouldn't even mention that part at all. He would just tell someone that he's gay and refuse to answer any questions about how he figured it out, or if he liked anyone. But who would he tell? He couldn't tell his new friends because they could turn on him easily. Then, he would be gay and alone. He should tell his mom first, he knew she would understand. But, it might be too awkward. He could tell Jonathan, but Jonathan was already stressed enough with just life in general. He needed someone he could rely on, who he could talk to. Someone he wouldn't leave and wouldn't make anything uncomfortable.

So, that's why Will made the executive decision to tell Eleven first. El never seemed to mind gay people, she was very open minded, and they had become closer over the months. They formed a strong friendship and El was always there for Will. She was the one who helped Will during his nightmares. She was the one who he talked to when he missed Hawkins and felt like he wouldn't make any real friends like that again. And Will was the one Eleven talked to about missing Hopper. Will was the one Eleven talked to about her problems with Mike (which, admittedly, made Will become more hopeful about a relationship with him, though he'd never admit that to anyone but himself).