Stylist (book 1) - H.S

Chapter 20: Boyfriend.

We finished out the plane ride, and I sent Anthony with my things, heading straight to the venue in hopes of avoiding Harry. I just wish I knew what he wanted from me. It's as if he needs me to like him or love him or I don't know. I don't know with him, it's a huge question mark to me. I told him what I could give him, I've made it obvious, but things always seem to change, and I can't have this change, not when everything in my life changes so often nowadays.

I don't know what it's like to be him, I never will know what it's like, and I'm not going to ask because that's none of my business but I wish I could read his mind sometimes.

    I sat around the venue all day, helping out if someone needed it, eating here and there, and I even organized the suits, and resteamed them all, mostly out of boredom. Everyone is starting to arrive, and Anthony continues to give me those looks, those looks like he's afraid of what I'm thinking, and I'm not sure why. My thoughts are the same, and he can't be afraid of my wishes, there's nothing wrong with pushing my feelings away especially if those feelings change me from who I am.

    "How was the event last night?" Jeffrey sits himself down, and looks over to me as Kate sets up for the night.

    "It was fun, very different for me, but still so fun." I tell him, and he nods.

    "You two didn't cause any trouble?" He asks, joking around, and I shake my head. I haven't had much conversation with Jeffrey, and when I first met him I was indifferent, but now it's not the same. I'm almost scared of him, I'm afraid of him judging me, or speaking ill of me to Alessandro. "Well he looked great, you both did. We might just have to pack you up and take you with us wherever we go." He tells me, and my stomach does a little flip, and I mentally yell at myself.

Fucking stop it El, stop letting this situation taking control.  The door opens, and Harry walks in, causing my chest to tighten once more and I have had it.

    "Fucking stop!" I yell at myself, throwing my shit down, and everyone turns to look at me.

    "Stop what..." Kate asks, and Harry doesn't look amused.

    "Nothing, forget it." I tell them, and Kate grabs Harry's shoulders, following him down as he sits in the chair.

    "What's gotten into you?" Jeffrey asks, and Harry gives him a side eye.

    "I'm just not in the mindset for tonight.. Feeling a bit off." He tells him, and glances at me for a split second. I look away, making my way to the rack of clothes.

    "There's fans outside, and a lot of them... Try to shake it off." Jeffrey stands, coming behind Harry to give him some comfort and then leaves the room, leaving an awkward silence behind as he does.

    "You two must have partied too hard last night to throw him off his game." Kate looks over her shoulder to me, and I see Harry with his eyes closed, and his hand holding his head, almost helplessly.

    "We stayed out, nothing too wild though, he's just grumpy." I joke, trying to not give too much away, and his eyes open but hardly as he thins them at me. He shakes his head as if he's challenging me to come for him again, and I roll my eyes. "What are you wearing tonight?" I ask him, and he turns his head towards me, Kate following as he does.

    "I'm not really feeling the sequins, or the sparkles tonight." He tells me, keeping his voice blank, and I nod as Helene walks in, Sarah by her side. I look away, and pull out one of the black suits, and set it out for him. After Kate finishes, I step forward, helping him with buttons, and all the loose ends. "El, can we-" He speaks in a low voice.

    "No we can't do your job, and stop worrying about me." I snap, and I move back to look at him in the suit. It's plain, but he looks good per usual. "Don't suck tonight." I tell him, and I see him smirk, but it's not the usual smirk, it's almost like he's angry, like he's in disbelief at me as I walk away from him. I can hear the click of Helene's camera, but I ignore it as I escape from the room, and out of the venue, knowing Anthony won't be coming to our room for a while, knowing Harry won't know where I am, and hoping he doesn't come looking.