I Don't Want To Say Goodnight (All Time Low Fanfic)

Prologue

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Dear Alex,

You don't know who I am, or my story, but I wrote this letter to change that. I know you probably get a lot of these letters, so I appreciate you taking the time to read mine. I want you to know how much your band means to me and so many other people. For so many of us, your music has saved our lives. I know that's true for me.

At the end of last year, I was diagnosed with cancer. Bummer, I know. That was a great Christmas present. The doctors gave me, at best, nine months to live. When I found out, I was a fucking wreck. People that I had known my entire life were suddenly at a loss as to what to say to me. What do you say to the girl that's dying? I've never had many friends but most of them abandoned me once they found out. The only person that stayed by my side was Sam, I'm sure you'll have met him tonight. I couldn't even count on my family. It's always just been me and my dad, my mum died giving birth to me. We've never been particularly close, I guess he blames me for her death.

I felt so alone.

The doctors and the therapists and the psychologists kept trying to help me deal with things and make sense of the situation, but how does any of this make sense? How is it fair that I only get twenty years of life? What have I done to deserve that?

Things got pretty bad. In fact, that's an understatement. I decided I didn't want to wait nine months, I wanted to die then. I wanted to end things on my own terms. I had everything ready. I hadn't said goodbye to anyone but I didn't plan on doing so. I'll spare you all the gory details on what I planned to do, but just as I was about to finally end it all, I heard something.

I was listening to my favourite song on YouTube as a sort of fucked up final goodbye, and when it finished, a song I had never heard before started playing.

It was Therapy.

That song said everything I had been struggling to. I broke down in tears and sat in my room for hours on end, just crying and listening to your music. It sounds so cheesy and cliché but your music really spoke to me. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone anymore. As I listened to the lyrics, it made me realise that there were other people that had felt like me before. And also, that there were people who were a lot worse off than me. It made me realise that I had a reason to keep living.

There are so many people whose lives end so suddenly, they have no idea what's coming. Whether, it's something like a car crash, or a shooting, or something like that. I realised I had the one thing they never. Time.

I have the time to do everything I want to do, accomplish everything I want to accomplish, say everything I want to say. I made a promise to myself right there and then to live every second of whatever remains of my life for me. I want to be able to look back and not have any regrets. For these last few months, I want to be happy.

I wrote a list of all the things I want to do before I die. The first thing on my list was to write this letter, so that I can thank you, Jack, Zack and Rian for everything you've done for me. You gave me the strength to keep living, and for that, I'm so grateful. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

Thank you,

Amelia.