Desolated - book 3 •StrangeFrost•

Torn

•Loki's POV•
I don't know how long I stayed in that ship.
Stark said it had been two weeks, but it had felt like years.
And when Stark told me that in two days we were going to run out of oxygen, I felt almost relieved.

Throughout that two weeks, I barely ate anything. Yes, it was because Stark was the only technical mortal on the ship, but I also had other reasons.
I just, felt like I didn't deserve it.

It would be so easy to just stab myself and end it there, since we all knew we were going to die anyway.

But I didn't want to leave Stark with a dead body of his friend (yes we became friends, we were dying together why do you expect?) to rot while he starved to death.
It just felt cruel.
So I waited.
I waited and waited and waited.

Stark was kind enough to teach me and Nebula how to play table games, though every time I lost (or won, for that matter) I would break into tears.

It's funny, the worst time in my life would also be my last.

It's not that funny.

A few hours before the oxygen would run out, I had been lying in the bottom area of the ship, my body, hands, legs, all laying askew on the ground.
The air was already feeling thin.

I was so tired,
And hungry,
And everything ached.

I closed my eyes, gathering all the strength I had to talk to him

one

last

time.

I sighed.
"Hey Stephen." I paused, looking down at the floor.
"I umm- I know you can't hear me I just, I wanted to talk to you."
Silence. Like I was expecting anything.
"I just wanted to say- well I want to say a lot of things, but- I'm really sorry. For yelling at you.
I know I shouldn't have, but I did and I'm ashamed."
I paused, feeling myself shiver.
"But the real reason I'm talking to you, is umm-"
I put my hand over my face, starting to lightly sob.
"I only have a few hours left. And I umm, I Uhh-"

"I want you to be there when it happens. Hopefully I'll get to see you again afterward and nobody else will have to deal with my bullshit. I'm kind of glad, actually and umm, it's just right now it's like-"
I paused, thinking of what to say next.

"Everything just hurts all the time. I don't want to do anything in fear of the pain. I guess it's inevitable though."

I looked down.

"I love you too."