Beaten But Not Broken

Chapter 10

After the event of last night, our wedding night, our pizza didn't get eaten. Ken never came back into the living room after choking me on the floor after we had sex without a condom for the first time and I questioned him about it.  I brought the pizza to the kitchen and lay on the couch naked with only a throw blanket to cover me. I didn't want to go into our bedroom where he was, so I slept in the couch. I lay there staring at the ceiling for a long time, memories of my life flashing before me. When Ken and I were 8, a few months before he moved away we snuck off into the woods behind my house, we didn't go far, but far enough my parents couldn't see us. I remember tripping over a branch sticking out of the ground and Ken rushed to me. He helped me up and walked me to a gigantic oak tree and sat me down. When he saw blood on my hand he ripped a piece of his shirt and cleaned the cut for me. Neither of us said anything and to this day I never did thank him. How did that boy turn into this man? I know he is in there because I fell in love and married him. At some point threw out my memories I drifted off to sleep. The sun is peaking threw the curtains and brings me to life. I spring up off the couch not knowing where I am. Once the memory of last night comes into focus I sit back down and lay my head in my hands and take a deep breath.
"I made coffee" I jump. Ken laughs.
"I didn't mean to startle you" he says walking closer with two cups in his hand. He sits next to me on the couch and I move down to the end, his emotion is hard to read, he looks hurt but doesn't look surprised.
"I'm sorry about..." Is he seriously trying to apologize? It's like my life had been on repeat the last few months, he does something to hurt me and comes crawling back hours later and I forgive him, pretend it's okay, like it never happened.
"I don't want to hear it Ken. So save your breath. I'm going to shower and head into work." I stand my naked body on display for him. I try to cover myself with the small blanket from the couch.
"Iv seen it all Lane, and I thought you were off the rest of the week since we did only get married yesterday." He states.
"I would rather be there than here. And after last night don't act like you value our 1 day marriage." I snap. Maybe if I let him see I will not put up with him and his behaviour he will try to stop. Ken stands up so quick I don't even know what's happening. I feel his hand connect with my face in a flash, pain shooting threw the whole left side of my face. I bring my hand to my cheek and I look at him wide eyed.
"Don't fucking tell me what I value. You told me you had the rest of the week off so your going to damn well take it." He snarls.
"Go get a shower I have stuff planned for us today." He says leaving the living room and walks towards the kitchen. I stand there for a few more minutes before I can make my feet move. I climb up the stairs and into the bathroom. I drop the blanket and turn the water on. But I don't get in, I turn a look at myself in the mirror. Why didn't I end this the first time? How did I manage to screw up my life so bad as to suggest marriage to a man like Ken. A man who lays his hands on me. But also a man who loves me, takes care of me, makes passionate love to me. I stop thinking and get in the shower before the water turns cold. I hear the knob to the bathroom door move, but I locked it. I hear Ken curse from the hallway. I swallow hard and wash myself quickly. I don't want to make him mad again today.
"Where are we going?" I ask cautiously when I enter the kitchen twenty minutes later. He looks up and he looks like my Ken, the Ken I feel in love with.
"I packed a lunch and thought we could go for a bike ride down low's bike trail and have a picnic on the beach." He looks hopeful and I feel my heart tighten. He's back.
"It sounds like a good day." I try to smile.  Why couldn't I have the version of him all the time? I don't understand why he has to be violent, I don't do anything to provoke him. But it's like when he hears something he doesn't like, a switch flips in his head and he is a totally different person.
"Can you grab the bag in the fridge while I get the blanket and strap the bikes down?" He's acting shy. It's cute.
"Sure, anything else?" I don't want to give him a reason to get mad if we get to the beach and we don't have everything he planned on taking.
"Just the bag and you, my wife." His smile grows. He looks me in the eyes for a moment before walking away.
The bike ride was nice, it's early spring now, the weather is starting to warm up, the leaves are starting to form back on the trees, and it's the perfect time to go to the beach because it's not busy. Ken picks a spot on the far side where you can't see us from the bike trail or from any other spot on the beach unless you walk right up to us. It's a beautiful day, the sun is shining and it's warm enough I can take my sweater off. Ken lays the blanket on the sand and I lay down the bag as we both sit the same time.
"Come here." He reaches out his arms and I fall into him. We stay like this with him holding me for a long time until he hears my stomach grumble. "Hungry?" He looks down at me and laughs. "A little." I give him a shy smile while he pushes me up gently to a sitting position.
"Well lucky for you we have food." Ken reaches in the bag and starts hauling out the food and placing it on the blanket.
"We have sandwiches, cheese and grapes, and chocolate covered strawberries." He smiles proud of himself.
"You did make this yourself?" I ask.
"I made the sandwiches and cut up the cheese, but I can't take credit for the strawberries. I picked them up at the bakery."
"When you did have time do to all this?" I'm happy he did.
"While you were dress shopping yesterday." Ken opens the lid on the sandwiches and hands me one, then take one for himself.
"So I was thinking." Ken starts in between bits of his sandwiches.
"I need a receptionist now that the business is picking up. I would love it if you would take the job." He's nervous.
"I don't know if that's a good idea Ken. I mean what if anything were to happen with us, or even the business. I have a permanent stable job, what if I leave and something happens. I'm left with nothing." I say quietly.
"You will always have me. But I've been thinking about it and if it would make you feel better we can get a lawyer and draw up papers making you my partner. The business will be ours. I know we can do good. I can't be around the office to take calls and do the construction part as well. I need you baby." He takes my hand in his, his eye are hopeful. And I can't lie it sounds like a good plan, we can both travel to work together, he can do the work I can make the schedule. We can live a good life. I squeeze his hand before I respond.
"Okay. Let's do it." Ken throws himself at me me and I scream with laughter. We are now lying on the blanket, he is hovering over me.
"I love you." Ken tells me bringing his lips to mine before I can say it back. He makes love to me on the beach with no worries if anyone will see us. Ken was tender and gently. He kissed me with passion instead of devouring my mouth. His hands gliding over my body slow taking in every inch. It was a perfect moment. When we finished ken and I lay on the blanket naked and make small talk.
"Can you remember when we were 8, and we snuck off into the woods and I cut my hand?" I ask. It was the first thing that popped in my head this morning.
"Yes I remember." He kisses my forehead.
"Thank you. I never said it back then, but thank you for taking care of me." I feel a little shy. "I'll always take care of you Lane."
I want to ask a question but I am afraid it will set off the switch and ruin this perfect day. But I ask anyway.
"When your grandma died did she have a will? I mean the house and whatever she had, was it left to you? You have never mentioned other family I just want to know if we would have to worry about a long lost relative showing up trying to claim her stuff." Breath Lane. I wait for the switch but it does come. He runs his hand threw my hair and speaks calmly.
"No Lane there are no long lost relatives. She did have a will leaving her home, property and savings to me." He assures me.
"Okay, I like our home. I like living their with you." I look up at him, lift my hand a cup his cheek. "I love you." Ken squeezes me tight with his arms and we stay like this for a little while longer before we get dressed and start packing up our stuff to head back down the trail to the truck.
"I had fun today."
"I did too." And I did. It was a good day once we left the house. We don't speak on the way home, but it's not an uncomfortable silence. It's a peaceful silence. Ken pulls down the dirt road that leads home, in the distance I can see something flashing. Memories of the day my parents died flash in my head. The closer we get to the house, we both start to realize there is a police car parked in front of our house. The lights flashing. "Ken?" Is there something he hasn't told me? Why are they here? He parks next to the police car and we both look at each other before climbing out.
"Can we help you officers?" Ken says sternly as we both walk towards them.
"Mr. Lewis?" The officer asks.
"Yes that's me. Is there a problem?" He stands tall but I can tell he is nervous and I can see small beads of sweat forming on his forehead.
"We have a few questions about your business back in Boston." What the hell is this all about?