Spinoffs Issue #2- Captain Underpants for Da Win!

Chapter 8: The Talk of the Century

Meanwhile...

Melvin was sitting on a rock next to a lake, alongside his new conforming invention, the Squeeze Me 4 Lyfe 2000. He looked at the water's reflection, saw his depressed face, and sighed.

"I think I need a Setting 4 hug right now," he said. Setting 4 was the highest (and potentially most dangerous) setting, but Melvin didn't care. He pressed a button on the remote, and the robot hugged him so tight, he couldn't breathe.

"WHY DID I DO THIS?!"

George and Harold showed up to the scene and hid in a bush to be "unseen." They saw Melvin, but no Captain.

"HOW did we show up before Captain Underpants?" George asked in disbelief.

"I mean, he doesn't really know his way around town," Harold said. "Wait, MELVIN'S NOT OKAY!" He pointed to the Squeeze Me 4 Lyfe 2000 squeezing Melvin, who was beginning to turn a bit plum-colored.

George and Harold began to panic. "Where is Captain Underpants when we need him?" George asked.

Suddenly, the Waistband Warrior showed up and reached for an inhaler out of his utility waistband. He punched the robot out of orbit and gave Melvin the air that he needed.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot that Krupp/Captain Underpants also has breathn't," Harold said.

"You mean asthma," George said.

"Yes, but "breathn't" is my nickname for it," Harold said. The boys forgot about that conversation, because they needed to spy on Captain Underpants and Melvin.

"Luckily I also have the disease called "Airway: Out of Order," or else you would've been toast!" Captain Underpants said.

"Does anyone call asthma by its actual name anymore?!" Melvin yelled. "But thank you for the rescue."

"I think I'm supposed to be talking 'bout a thing..." Captain Underpants thought out loud. "OH, YEAH! Two boys about your age sent me here to talk to you!"

"Please don't tell me George and Harold sent you," Melvin said. Captain Underpants shook his head like the idiot he is.

"D'OH!" George and Harold grunted in an annoyed tone.

"Aww, man! Now a fat and bald yellow guy will sue us for stealing his catchphrase!" Harold whined.

"Worse than that, our plan is ruined!" George said. "Even though we really didn't have a plan to begin with!"

"Okay," Captain Underpants said to Melvin, "have you ever felt rejected in this world?"

"Yeah, no offense, but I just can't take advice from you," Melvin said. "See you the next time my posterior needs saving."

Captain Underpants got mad and grabbed Melvin before he could leave. "HAVE YOU EVER FELT REJECTED?!" he yelled.

"Y-Yes!" Melvin answered immediately after he freed himself from Captain Underpants' grip. "ALL THE TIME!"

Captain Underpants felt that his Papa Bear senses were tingling, and he began to sit next to Melvin, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Ever since I was born, everyone kept pranking me just because I'm a nerd!" Melvin cried. "I just now make my first friends and I still can't catch a break! Why can't I be normal like everyone else?"

"I'm not normal. Look at me!" Captain Underpants said. "But seriously, bro, you're not alone in the planet of chastisement. I'm bullied all the time because I never wear clothes! And people always judge me because I always decline their invitations to the water park. For some reason, I always black out whenever I go there..."